Science Patrol

TimeMap Zero

2010-07-24T16:27:00.004-04:00

Visiting you, as I must, from a point further along your own timeline, I can only appear to you as a haggard, vagrant spirit, with scarcely any knowledge of my current surroundings or the effect my strange clothing and mannerisms will convey to the general populace. It is not my intent to confuse, or cause temporal disruptions, but only to show you this chart (here enlarged), designed to help you understand the interconnected nature of fictional timelines. These fiction scientists have determined that it should be theoretically possible for travelers with similar vectors to meet, even if they come from separate universes. The theory is further explained on the project page, where it is revealed that the Dr. Who universe will be charted separately, and they are looking for research fellows. Paging Dr. Cardigan!

Neil deGrasse Tyson is from Outer Space...

2010-02-15T11:21:00.002-05:00

Astrophysicist, indeed! Just look at all of the things this extraterrestrial weirdo brought with him from the Mothership.

Also, he has seen the future, and he doesnt want you to worry.

Check your local listings to find out when you can watch Nova ScienceNow on PBS.

You can also follow Neil deGrasse Tyson on Twitter: http://twitter.com/neiltyson

Everything Is Sprayed With Glass

2010-02-09T09:43:00.003-05:00

It may sound like a war zone's worst case scenario, but it is what scientists are touting as the wave of the future in preservation techniques for everything from subway cars and buildings to food and seeds.

Spray-on liquid glass is about to revolutionize almost everything

Sunspots (We Crawl By Inches)

2009-11-18T06:08:00.007-05:00

"Before assuming these phenomena are [sun]spots, which would suit us, let us first set about proving that they are not - fried fish. We crawl by inches. What we find today we will wipe from the blackboard and reject it - unless it shows up again the day after tomorrow. And if we find anything which would suit us, that thing we will eye with particular distrust. In fact, we will approach this observing of the sun with the implacable determination to prove that the earth stands still, and only if hopelessly defeated in this pious undertaking can we allow ourselves to wonder whether we may not have been right all the time: the earth revolves."

-Galileo, as imagined by Bertolt Brecht (thanks to the Red-Haired Radical for the quote)

The Computer at Play

2009-11-02T21:47:00.002-05:00

It is easy to think, in this era of short attention spans, that modern technologies such as motion- and touch-sensitive screens and networked gaming are new innovations. In fact, they have been around for more than 40 years. In this video, interface pioneer Myron Krueger demos his Videoplace system, which prefaced many other forms of creative interaction with computers.

As Myron says, most uses of personal computers are utilitarian, and many people experience significant difficulty interfacing with them due to a lack of emotional, visceral connection with the machine. Videoplace provides a truly creative sandbox experience, allowing two people to play intuitively using a shared space.

The recent announcement of Google Wave gives me great hope that these innovations will continue to bring intuitive communication and play to people of the future.

Dark Star

2009-10-24T07:51:00.005-04:00

I have recently become the owner of a copy of John Carpenter's Dark Star, a film whose trailer makes me very excited.

Last Train to Zebulon 4

2009-09-23T15:55:00.003-04:00

This glimpse into another world comes to us courtesy of the archive of Jeff Larson, who says: "I found this while making color separation proofs, it was a mistake but I couldn't toss it out. The cyan layer is dissolving away and the black never made it on. Looks like a train ride to a different world. On the left edge is a tiny guy and a kid waving."

These amazing prints are available through the Lighter of the Month Club, a yearly subscription that sends you 4 stickers a month to convert your lighters into works of art. It's a brilliant idea and one I plan on supporting very soon. Jeff's art is well worth $40 for 48 stickers, whether your decorate your lighter, your laptop, or bare skin. And even if you don't care to pay, the gallery is breathtaking.

The Centripetal Machine

2009-08-31T00:51:00.008-04:00

There's no mistake: The artist Dustin Wilson is crafting a very special world over at his blog. Unfortunately I cannot embed the video on our site, but I would recommend that future-minded people take a look at "Woodstock to Miramichi."

The future, in miniature

2009-08-12T11:46:00.003-04:00

Soren, a.k.a. Bricklovinfreakboy, is a Lego modeler of mecha and other automata. His work will undoubtedly be used in the toybox of the future to explore new environments, like the underside of the bed or that fiddly spot under the radiator. Please click through to his photoset to see more exciting servotechnology.

This was brought to you by SuperPunch and The Brothers Brick. Please see also: California Dreaming, sculptures made from recycled materials. Pic below.

Fiction Science in the Field

2009-08-03T01:47:00.005-04:00

Here at Science Patrol Ideation Collection East (SPICE), we monitor the creation, distribution, and networking of ideas, specifically those related to science. My studies in particular focus on the differences between science fact, and science fiction, and something else we call "fiction science." Let me be clear: fiction science refers to untrue science, facts which do not apply to our dimensional corner of the multiverse but which are nonetheless interesting or amusing to us. Flat Earth Theory, Hollow Earth Theory, phlogiston, spontaneous generation of life--these are all ideas which have been shown to be false, but as we know, the ability of the human mind to cling to disproven ideas is very strong, and has been a major force throughout history.

With that in mind, I want to show you some documentation of individuals who either do not understand science, or are trying to create some new science of their own, without regard for accredited research, or 300 years of scientific progress and knowledge. I have already introduced the first woman to you; she can be seen in the video above, rhapsodizing on the prevalence of rainbows everywhere in her world and speculating on their meaning. The second person, known as "Truthmage," is an "avid sky-watcher" who nonetheless knows very little about the heavens above her. Although we do caution the reckless ingestion of these ideas, it is perfectly ok as long as one remembers a few key scientific principles, and I recommend you watch as many of their videos as you can stand. Below is a particularly awesome example.

HE IS ROBOT

2009-07-26T20:14:00.005-04:00

Although we are often swayed by pretty technology and psychedelic visions, know that we of the Science Patrol are flesh and blood, with hearts that are not unmoved by emotional or dramatic fare. Especially when it involves robots.

"I AM ROBOT" is a short film by Ken Tanaka, an artist and personality. Please give him love.

Behold, the Protean Orb!

2009-07-22T21:59:00.005-04:00

From the desk of Dr. Yano Solong comes this spine-tingling footage of what can only be described as an insipid and disgust-inspiring biomass. Apart from being discovered in a sewer pipe in Malphus, North Carolina, the Protean Orb has also been making rounds in the tubes we call the Internet, and to this end has instilled fear and panic in the minds (and MYNDs) of those who view it. In an effort to curtail the exaserbation of unnecessary hysteria, we here at SciencePatrol have approached these findings using the rigor of the scientific method, and as such shall attempt to explain these phenomenona using candor and rationale.

Know then, that these Protean Beings are neither heathen spawn from the bowels of the underworld, nor are they extra-terrestrial xenomorphs scouting ahead for an invasion of Earth's porcelain domains. Research indicates that they are annelid worms, who infiltrated the 50+ year old pipes via cracks caused by tree roots. In the absence of soil, the worms coalesce into a spheroid-structured colony in the interest of self preservation. Still, pretty grody.

Once Every Blue Moon...

2009-07-20T15:27:00.004-04:00

On this day, forty solar cycles past, the brave astro-travellers of NASA first stepped foot on Earth's Moon. We here at SciencePatrol celebrate mission designate Apollo 11, and those men who made it possible. May our future passages into the dark unknowns of space be as memorable, with many happy returns.

For a very special look at the Apollo moon mission, check out We Choose the Moon, an interactive presentation of mission data. Also available: Twitter feeds of communications from the Capsule Communicator (CAPCOM) and the Apollo spacecraft.

Future Science Preserves Past Scientific Triumphs

2009-06-29T02:28:00.006-04:00

We here at SP have no particular affinity for any one time sphere or any one eventuality, but hold dear all eventualities and the triumphs of science in all points in space time. Because of this respect for all scientific victories, advancements, and ventures, it is always a pleasure to show a mixing of the old and new. As most seekers are unable to move through spacetime at will, much less manipulate eventualities to coax desired outcomes, it is often difficult for the successes of the past to be preserved into the future.

Believe it or not, someone who has a firsthand knowledge of this decay of greatness far too extensive to imagine is one Jay Leno, who has given his life to preserve some of the most crowning achievements in automotive technology from past generations. His vast array of collected automotive transports includes Maseratis, Lamborghinis, and Ferraris, but some of the most brilliant jewels are the ones that would be all but forgotten without his vigil. The Stanley Steamers, the Duesenbergs, and the Morgans. Now future science has made this vigil easier to maintain, and the same science may make movie prop replica creators giggle with delight also.

Popular Mechanics brings us this month a glimpse into the complications of attempting to savor and resurrect classic motorcars, and a new tool to alleviate some of those complications. The goal of the tool itself is not new, but the portability and affordability are. Its a new 3D Scanner from NextEngine, allowing anyone to scan anything they wish, provided that it will fit into the scanning array, and produce a 3D model with 1 million points in a couple of minutes. Jay Leno can use this new tool to create auto parts that have not been produced since the turn of the century, and as a matter of fact, does. This tech is also invaluable to video game developers, 3D artists involved in film making, or anyone who wants to reproduce an item with stunning accuracy in a 3D environment. Once the 3D model has been created, it can be imported into a vast number of applications, including being printed, again, in 3D. The "printer" that was used in the demo at Jay Leno's garage was a marvel in itself, as it uses plastic filament strategically injected into points to recreate the model. This is amazing in itself, but when you find out that it can produce fully functioning 3D plastic recreations of almost any object, and without assembly, your MYND will surely blow. Think about making a wrench (again, as seen in the embedded video). Typically you would have to produce the handle and the smaller clamping end separately, as the cogs and tiny parts could never be created assembled. Not the case with Dimension's 3D printer, scan the wrench with the scanner, import the model into the printer, and out pops a fully functioning wrench.

We salute NextEngine, Dimension, Popular Mechanics, and Jay Leno for their hunger to find new solutions to problems once thought to be insurmountable. Not to mention that it could really save Adam Savage some time in making 3D Maltese Falcons.

The Future of Science as I understand it...

2009-06-26T16:56:00.009-04:00

Welcome again, seekers! Adept followers of SciencePatrol.net know that we here at headquarters report on all manner of findings retrieved from various timespheres and eventualities; be they factual, fictitious, or merely fictive. But seldom do we report on the goings on of the ones behind the machines, our own corporeal avatars in this timesphere, here on our native eventuality. They are known by different names, and consist of matter and mass which we lack; nonetheless we here at SciencePatrol are born of their ideas.

Know then, that this is Lance Cardigan reporting from in the field. In this very dimension. Right now.
Today I attended an orientation session for acceptted transfer students at Drexel University's Westphal College of Media Arts and Design. I will begin my studies proper there in roughly three lunar cycles in the Digital Media Bachelor of Science program. Visiting the labs today has inspired me to share some of the work already underway at the college by students other than myself. I hope to bring you much more news of my own experiments in the coming future, but for now I invite you to enjoy the work of those that have gone before me. May my own muse shine as brilliantly as their's.
Below are images from the 2009 Digital Media Review, which showcases student work from the Digital Media program. Looks like I will be in league with some excellent talents, as well as some worthy adversaries. I look forward to 2010(tywmc).
As per usual protocols, I share only a tantalizing fragment of the entire showcase. Intrepid Junior Science Patrollers know that to make breakthroughs, they must preform their own research. We at SP merely give you the tools.

Again, the entire show is just a click away.

In the Dark Future....

2009-06-17T17:48:00.002-04:00

Seeker! Do not adjust your monitors. What you behold are the latest abstractions and deviances from the foundry of Imperious Leader "Lucky" No.5. No. 5 frequently defiles the sanctity of what we know to be a generally chaos-free universe and timesphere, however this latest abomination he has unleashed is of a particularly sinister nature. Be warned that prolonged exposure to these feeds is untested and subsequently not recommended by SciencePatrol analysts. However, if you do dare tempt the edge of insanity, follow This Foreboding Link to what will most probably result in your own enslavement to the will of the Unclean.

KIDS are our Future.

2009-06-15T12:00:00.005-04:00

The preceding music video is the collective work of the band MGMT (pronounced Em-Gee-Em-Tee) and director Ray Tintori. While the auditory execution of the number in question is what initially drew me to this feed, I share it here because of the sheer prowess of Mr. Tintori and his visionary work. RT is impeccable in his execution of makeup, costume, animation, and pyrotechnics; what results is a level of synergy oft unseen in this day of bootyshake and bling. This presentation harkens back to the days of Peter Gabriel and Dire Straits, when music videos were as much of an expression of art as the songs themselves.
Those here at SciencePatrol pray that in the future, history will promise to continue to repeat itself, as it presently has done.

Note that MGMT themselves have disclaimed that no children were hurt during the making of this film.

Space People From the Future

2009-06-10T21:20:00.004-04:00

The above man is Lone Sloane, my grandfather, a true Space Person and psychedelic hero in the vein of John Carter of Mars and Elric of Melniboné. He passed the traditions of freebooting, adventuring, and fighting the evil empire to his son, Han Solo, my own father. His adventures were chronicled by the Earthling Philippe Druillet, and published in the pages of magazines such as Pilote and Metal Hurlant, which Druillet co-founded with the god Mœbius.

This very silly video by the Gregory Brothers (recent heroes of the operatic tradition) is a salute to our family tradition, and to space people everywhere:

Truly, Many Things Have Come to Pass

2009-06-08T09:47:00.004-04:00

Hello Seeker!

This post is here to tell you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Many beings have come before you seeking knowledge, and many of them have stopped by this oasis on their way to brighter systems, better epochs, and more fantastical climes.

As Lance Cardigan has written here some months before, I have traveled along at least a millenium of recorded time since I last visited this research station. The many adventures I assimilated during that timespan will probably never be completely revealed, but I am nonetheless glad to report that during my absence from this plane, an androidized intelligence bearing my name has been Twittering relevant facts and evidence to a growing populace of connected minds. The name, of course, is "YanoSolong." Click this link to view relevant data.

However, despite this stopgap measure, many things still remain to be revealed. (The process of revelation is unending.) Therefore I bring you these tidings of great joy:

The artist Robert Burden (image credit above) has deified our most trusted icons. Please visit his temple to partake of the heavenly glory.

Scientists claim to have cut-and-pasted the THC genetic sequence from cannabis into a variety of plants, and they also claim that tomatoes carry a much higher quantity of THC than the cultivated hemp plant. Sun-dried pizza topping, anyone?

While you're making up that bruschetta, consider taking a trip to London to see this giant deep-sea diver awaken from his slumber.

Tau Architecture: The Reactor

2009-04-20T09:47:00.004-04:00

Many of you may wonder what dire fates may have befallen the intrepid minds behind our beloved SciencePatrol. Fear not, believers; for i bring news of the adventures of those men who would dare brave the farthest outreaches of science. Sometimes, the ether gets so thick it can be difficult to transmit our many findings.

Yano Solong: As a result of rampant experimentation within uncharted timespheres, yano solong became diefied by a culture of pre-technological bipedal humanoids. After worshiping him as his acolytes for nearly a milenium of their time, they were satisified with his work in the role of that millenia's diety and promptly attempted to sacrifice him to the next one. We are fortunate to report that Yano Solong made safe egress, and has returned to our own timesphere, having suffered the loss of one 'S' as a result of his escape. Dr. Solong was otherwise unscathed.

Wormocious: Worm has chosen, of his own volition, to self-induce a deep cryogenic stasis inside a self built sensory deprivation chamber. He plans to reawaken as soon as science creates a higher viscosity oil for his many modular prosthetics. Current tolerances are unable to withstand Wormocious' experimentation. He looks forward to the day when mans will catches up to that of machines

Vision von Braun: Is still working in the past, and will remain so until that time becomes the present, from which he will embark upon a journey toward the future. SciencePatrol wishes him the greatest of luck.

I myself have continued my work here at CardiganLabs Sub-Orbital MYND Survey Station.
I have been designing architecture for a race of aliens that will be born 30,000 years in the future, in a distant corner of the galaxy.
Below is a link to a writeup i have done on my latest project, a Tau Reactor.

http://z11.invisionfree.com/Work_In_Progress/index.php?showtopic=14734

note that the writeup was writen under the designation of Prof. Tesseract. I am called many things at many different times.

AT-AT (in stereo)

2009-02-21T11:14:00.003-05:00

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

People used to have boomboxes. Or ghettoblasters. Or all terrain armored transports. All three can be used to great effect when pop'n. lock'n, or laying siege to rebel outposts. As for this particular model, it is unclear who or what constructed such a magnificent blending of technologies. All i can tell you is that the signals are being broadcast from the following frequency. Follow the link to see more pics of the AT-AT in hi-fi stereo.

Armed and Operational

2009-01-27T18:52:00.004-05:00

Heed and bear witness to the awesome destructive power of the SciencePatrol RSv1 ArmCannon Modification put in place by yours truly, the mad professor Cardigan. Behold the two pictures of his wrist mounted missle launcher. Gaze in wonder as the missle is fired using only RSv1's own mechanical energy. Cower as his infared sensors zero in on your MYND as its primary target. Flee as you attempt to evade the impending wave of cataclysm foretold by the sound of his servos moving his arm into position. None can withstand the 2inch plastic payload the robot unleashes in his stoic fury and robotic lack of remorse.
May Cardigan be forgiven for the calamity he has unleashed on mankind.

The Adventrues of Marilyn, 20th Century Space Goddess

2009-01-25T23:13:00.003-05:00

...she quickly replicates as the attack ships of Zeta Reticuli warp from orbit into her neural subspace...

Blogger Doc40 has been appearing on my radar for some time, chronicling the unique sub-history of his own little sector of timespace, but it's this series of posts chronicling the adventures of the late, great Marilyn Monroe that have really caught my eye. Taking as a starting point an intriguing photo featuring our fair heroine, each episode delightfully remixes Barbarella, Burrough's Martian Barsoom stories, and the peculiar situations that Marilyn often found herself in, to exceptional effect.

Cosmic Zoom

2009-01-24T00:35:00.005-05:00

The inspiration for this film is very similar to the Eames' brothers' Powers of 10, a film that is well beloved of everyone here at Science Patrol Central. However, Cosmic Zoom's use of animation, its construction as a single long zoom, and its charming music have vaulted it to the forefront of my mind, and earned it a place on this blog. It also commemorates the fact that the complete archives of the Film Board of Canada have been placed online, and that you should browse them extensively. If I were to suggest a non-science film for your viewing, it might be The Cat Came Back, which I saw some years ago; but then again it might not, for I have not yet browsed these halls as much as I would like. For instance, this film by the same animator also looks interesting.

Possible Futures and Pasts, Vol. XIII

2009-01-16T09:17:00.002-05:00

Although the soundtrack for this film is a song by the lethally terrible Metallica, do not let it dissuade you from absorbing its content. The lesson I believe is vital to the survival of the human race....(Here is a Youtube link if the below video is corrupt)

Metallica - All Nightmare Long

Solong:Origins

2009-01-13T00:02:00.003-05:00

Hail brave explorers. Are you receiving me? I have aligned my transponders to these frequencies to relay a message of utmost pomp and an awful lot of circumstance. In this very week, on this very timestream, The Mad Professor Yanos Solong celebrates one of his many points of corporeal origin. So hats off to Solong, and a good journey wished, as he is no doubt at this very moment patrolling the upper timesphere in search of pan-dimensional answers. In the spirit of Narpa Swordo; I and the rest of the SciencePatrol team, and all of its enthusiasts do wish a very Happy Birthday to the good Dr. Solong. May your eventualities remain stable, and may your destiny be infinite.

My Brain, She Asplode

2009-01-06T15:31:00.003-05:00

In commemoration of the tremendous capabilities of the human mind, Jay Walker has compiled a wunderkammer of incredible objects. I was most transfixed by the Enigma machine--he might as well have an Ark of the Covenant in his library--but I would be remiss if I didn't note the numerous illustrated texts from our history of discovery and elucidation, or the amazing construction of the library itself, inspired by Escher and executed with theatrical flair. Oh, let's not forget Sputnik, the baby raptor, and "Thing" from The Addams Family.

Please check out the Wired profile, and cross your fingers that you may someday be invited.

LHC to continue to be rad as hell in 2009

2008-12-17T00:07:00.006-05:00

We're all amped at SP HQ for CERN to fire up the LHC after their troubles in September, and on that front, some very good news was released a about a week and a half ago that stoked our amperage. It seems that the brohams at CERN think that they'll be back in operation by the summer. The recent press release also gives some more insight into what happened in the aforementioned incident, and the corresponding shutdown that has lasted 3 months, and looks aimed to continue for several more. Photos were issued to the press giving us an up-close look at some of the broken components that are scheduled for replacement/repair.

So get ready for more shredding from the dudes in Europe super-colliding all kinds of stuff. Sick!

Press Release

Put an APB on that UFO

2008-11-28T22:44:00.003-05:00

What precedes is police cruiser dash-cam footage of an alleged "meteor" crashing to the Earth in Edmonton, Canada. Likely cover story, Mounties. We all know that meteors, weather balloons, and gas clouds don't really exist. All of those pretty lights in the sky are actually SciencePatrol personnel returning from holiday in outer-space.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T13:30:00.002-05:00

Dalek Overlord Davros has no interest whatsoever in wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving. We here at SciencePatrol, however, wish you a very happy one indeed. May you and yours find a plethora of reasons to give thanks this holiday season. Unless of course you are of the turkey speices, in which case "EXTERMINATE!"

The Future is So Bright, I Manufacture My Own Spectacles

2008-11-17T20:56:00.004-05:00

In the world of machines that really matter, few are as inspiring as robots. However, when most people imagine a robot, they see a mobile unit designed to interact with or substitute a human, or a machine designed to complete a specific task. What about a machine designed to make copies of things, even itself? Known as 3D printers, CnC machines, rapid prototypers, fabricators, or Universal Assemblers, these machines are predicted to transform the landscape of the 21st century, and indeed, are transforming the lives of a select group of geeks today. The RepRap project is designed to build and popularize such machines, and from the looks of it, they are well on their way, having recently managed to make a version which can copy itself.

It's a wonderful idea, in theory, but one may ask: once one has obtained one of these tiny automated manufacturing plants, what exactly would you do with it? Armed with knowledge of a CAD program, one can sculpt virtual objects and print them out in a variety of materials. Today, those armed with CAD knowledge and inspiration to burn can upload their designs to a new site called Thingiverse, releaseing their creations into the world.

Those interested in trying their hand at designing objects which don't yet exist should download the free Google SketchUp and get cracking.

Legoverse: Wormsign!

2008-11-06T10:17:00.004-05:00

"We have wormsign the likes of which God has never seen."

This legoverse eventuality was brought to you by RebelRock at Brickshelf.

Now where did I put my Einstein-Rosen Bridge?

2008-11-03T11:46:00.004-05:00

This $20 kit promises hours of fun for the prospective parallel worlds tourist. Simply by activating your device, you could have your pick of trillions of alternate universes. Then you just have to figure out how to get there. Somehow I don't think Hopstop supports this function yet.

Speaking of alternate universes, I have been getting quite a kick out of Neal Stephenson's Anathem. In a strange version of our own world, a hermetic order called the Discipline are the last to preserve the ways of logic and scholarship when the society around them has collapsed into degeneracy. The history of the planet Arbre is eerily familiar to our own, and yet, wonderfully alien at the same time. Like Stephenson's other works, every page unfolds a new treat for the questing mind. Fans of philosophy, alternate worlds, and the Hitchhiker's Guides will definitely enjoy this book.

Jeff Smith, creator of Bone, has a new title out as well, and this world-hopping adventure is definitely not for kids. RASL is the story of a scientist searching through multiple realities for the woman he loves, or something. I'm still trying to figure it out but I'm having a lot of fun along the way.

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T14:44:00.002-04:00

Science Patrol is joined by radioactive space bug Megalon in wishing you the happiest of All Hallow's Eves.

Thought for the Day

2008-10-28T20:02:00.001-04:00

Via Zom-Bot.com, a chilling reminder of the possibilities of science.

The New Sun

2008-10-16T09:34:00.003-04:00

Carbon nanotubes are the building blocks of most potential eventualities on our radar screen. They have numerous applications in the medical and electronics fields, and Japanese scientists are currently at work adapting them into a cable for their space elevator. Despite advances in the past five years which have multiplied their strength 100 times, they will need to improve on their current strength another four times to realize this endeavor. We believe in you, Japan!

This photo by Paul Marshall was selected by National Geographic as one of the top microscopic photos of the year. We also recommend this image of the world inside mitomycin.

This image explains everything.

2008-10-15T15:39:00.007-04:00

This should make understanding things a bit simpler. It, and many other images found here, are the work of fiction science illustrator Frank R. Paul.

A special Thank You to Frank Wu, for turning me on to the late Mr. Paul, and also for his own prolific body of work in the field of Fiction Science Imaging. (Yanos has pointed out to me that while my attention was elsewhang, he has previously blogged about Frank R. Paul and his voyages to other worlds.)

These Animals are Made Out of Meat

2008-10-14T11:20:00.003-04:00

Wormocious has alerted us to an invasion of artistic intentions in the New York City area. A small pet shop in the West Village is selling some very strange animals in its window displays. The proprietor, known as "Banksy," could not be reached for comment.

This pet shop is especially interesting because Banksy has always done his work under the cover of anonymity. An exhibition of this size, however, would seem to require more covert planning and necessary arrangements that could possibly reveal his identity. Does he have a circle of conspirators surrounding him like a cordon of Secret Service agents, who carry out his orders to lease a space and arrange the necessary permits? Are they in fact giant rats?

Or maybe Banksy is a coalition of giant rat artists attempting to increase our awareness that we are not the only intelligent inhabitants of the cities of the world. The infection has spread across the ocean from London to America. It is said that anywhere in the world that humans have congregated, rats and crows can be found in great numbers, but they do not range more than 5 miles from these settlements without their numbers swiftly diminishing. Perhaps we should be expecting great works of art from the crow species as well.

Audiopad: The look and feel of sound.

2008-08-21T11:32:00.003-04:00

In the future, DJs will have you shaking your rump and raising the roof by interfacing with projected graphical interfaces that directly manipulate sound frequencies. Wait...thats not the future, that is happening now. James Patten and Ben Recht of localfields created Audiopad several years ago, and have been touching sound ever since. It just goes to show that at SciencePatrol, sometimes the future is the past.

The Uprising Will Be Televised:World War

2008-08-19T01:13:00.005-04:00

In the robotic uprisings of the future, long after the machines have decimated humanity in a bid for global domination; the infighting will ensue. The vast legions of robotic war machines will turn in on themselves; separate factions all vying for the same prize. What results is a perverse form of mechanized violence that our fleshy, organic minds can only begin to fathom.
As it happens, this exact scenario is pre-supposed in this short film by digital artist Vincent Chai, as his final project at the University Of Hertfordshire. Watch now before your back is forced against the wall by robotic beings who will stop at nothing to end you. These things are imminent, you know.

The Artificial Animation of Plastic

2008-08-14T20:53:00.002-04:00

Joshua Allen Harris is an artist whose medium is plastic bags, animated by blasts of air from subway vents and other unnatural sources. These videos are evidence of a strange new form of artificial life. My favorite is the air giraffe.

In Space, Noone can hear you [expletive].

2008-08-08T22:20:00.005-04:00

From the delightful blog divine caroline comes this informative video explaining how astronauts manage to poop in zero Gs. In future dimensions, Astronauts will read SciencePatrol blog posts printed directly onto their rolls of toiletpaper, which will be constructed of carbon-nanotubes; able to withstand the high intensity gamma radiation bursts which they are subjected to while in range of the van allen belts.

This is Happening Now: Braid released on Xbox Live

2008-08-07T20:13:00.009-04:00

Yanos Solong sat at the control panel of the ESME, the endlessly transforming 4-dimensional molecule that served as the Eventuality Survey Team's base of operations, playing a game of chess with the S.C.R.I.B.E. unit and watching the display screens. While on the surface everything appeared normal, Yanos had an impending feeling that an encroaching eventuality would soon present itself for investigation.

At the very moment that Yanos decided to castle on the king's side, an electronic buzzer sounded and the voice of ESME filled the cabin:

There is a new eventuality fold in the XBox Live community that I think you should take a look at, sir.

Sweeping the chess game off the coffee table for the moment, Yanos told the computer to display the relevant information from the Xbox Live server, but was greeted instead by an image of himself, looking slightly more unkempt, but otherwise identical.

"Yanos, this is Yanos + 48 hours on your current timestream. I've interrupted your vector to inform you that a highly important game named Braid has been released on Xbox Live. As you know, this occurrence has been highly anticipated among researchers into parallel timelines and alternate realties. The designer, Jonathan Blow, has produced a groundbreaking work, a training program for interdimensional travelers that is also a profound meditation into the nature of time and memory. I'm pleased to award Jonathan with the Medal of Infinite Density, and I want to thank him for providing humanity with his insight. Braid will become part of the Science Patrol Academy's virtualization training course, required playing for all enlightened beings. Now go forth and explore all vectors within the tenth-dimensional lightcone of existence. Solong out."

Warping the 11th Dimension

2008-08-04T12:02:00.005-04:00

New word has reached Science Patrol headquarters of progress on a new type of theoretical hyperdrive. This warp engine was originally conceived by Michael Alcubierre, who imagined a spaceship surfing on a bubble of expanded space-time, but was unable to explain how space-time could actually be distorted. Now two theoretical mathematicians, Gerald Cleaver and Richard Obousy, have written a paper proposing that specific manipulation of the 11th dimension may allow the necessary distortion bubble to appear. This method of field manipulation will allow what has been referred to by some as "travelling without moving." The complete paper can be read here.

We're Ready to Believe You!

2008-08-01T13:46:00.000-04:00

When your walking down the street, and you see a little ghost....whatcha gonna do? Ghostbusters!
From usual suspect Brickshelf comes both vehicles from ghostbusters 1 and 2. Ecto1 and Ecto1A were both constructed by user jminc, as no other sane human being would ever stack bricks like this. Both of these sculptures have PKG readings off the charts; whoever built them was either a complete genius or a certifiable wacko. Set protonic reversal rays to this link to see more pics of these creations.

Announcing Hypothetical Futures: A Science Patrol Wiki

2008-07-23T10:39:00.007-04:00

The history we record here in the Science Patrol blog is newly written. Our motto is: if the universe asks a hypothetical question, we expect that it will be answered. We have dedicated our consciousness to the discovery and exploration of unknown possibilities, which we refer to as eventualities. Pretty much anything that ever happened started as an eventuality, as did every story ever told. Shockingly, for each explored world you can name, there are infinitely more eventualities that have never been discovered.

Our use of the Science Patrol moniker is somewhat vague, as something over 5 billion Science Patrol squads have existed since the original team led by Shin Hayata. These squads operated under such various names as the Ultra Garrison of the Terrestrial Defense Force, the Monster Attack Team, the Terrible Monster Attacking Crew, the ZAT (Zariba of All Territory), MAC, UGM, UMA, WINR, GUTS, EYES, the Terrestrial Peacable Consortium, and too many others to name. At any rate, the official name of our squad is the Eventuality Survey Team, and our mission, as stated above, is to scan all eventualities for novel or unusual phenomena and examine them in their native context, and where desirable, transport them to our labs for further (non-invasive) study. As Acting Conceptual Director, it is my pleasure to announce that beginning now, all our observations will be recorded in our new Wiki, Hypothetical Futures, at http://eventuality.wikidot.com. This will be the repository of all official EST documents, as well as our findings on the limitless fractal dimensions, pocket universes, timestreams, uncollapsed waveforms, anti-strange quarks, and other phenomena of the multiverse that we have quarantined for extensive study. This blog will continue to broadcast new discoveries and creations as they unfold. Solong, out.

The Future of Time

2008-07-21T13:05:00.004-04:00

In the not too distant future, the day will come when the line between the human organism and his technology will be forever blurred, as we will interface with devices conveniently implanted on our own bodies. One small step in that direction can be seen here.The Timex TX54 is a product of Timex2154:The Future of Time; a competition held by Core77 and Timex, to continue in a tradition of 150 years of design innovation. Today, a fingernail-tomorrow, your MYND.

via TheDesignBlog

Sillof Strikes Back (action figures sold seperatley)

2008-07-14T23:07:00.003-04:00

In the recent past, I have reported to you about crazed inventor Sillof, and how he has the coolest toys. Well now hes back, and he is doing the sequel to his original Starwars line; with his usual steampunk aplomb.
The Empire Strikes Back line of steampunk toys includes Snowtrooper, TIE Pilot, Lando, and the whole line of Bounty Hunters (we dont need their scum!). Lock S-foils into attack position and rendevous at Sillof's Workshop to see the entire set. You're our only hope.

The Body Selectric

2008-07-11T18:47:00.003-04:00

The work of Brian Dettmer in the area of book autopsies has been featured before in these halls of science, and in similar spirit his work is being featured here again today. Although Brian is not a scientist, his work encourages a similar exploration into our collective past and the ways it can be reconfigured. His piece "The Cassette Tape Skeleton" is a powerful relic from our imagined past.

Touch the Monolith

2008-07-09T12:01:00.005-04:00

Via Charles Stross: last month, a new group called the Order of Cosmic Engineers released a prospectus in which they lay out their plan to remake our universe in Singular terms, that is, optimistically, and with a mind to create a "magical universe." Reading as I am the first book in Iain Banks's Culture series, I can't help but feel this is how it all started. I consider their aims mostly in line with my own hopes for the human species, and I do think that such groups will be necessary to complete such lofty goals, but I am reluctant to see it birthed here in such an obviously self-righteous fashion. Their own claims to be an "UNreligion" notwithstanding, I cannot see how they will avoid the worst problems of other religious groups: insularity, echo chambers, excessive optimism, and pot-luck dinners. Still, I'm sure there are some very interesting people involved, and I'd love to pick their brains.

Also on my mind lately, the Nation of Gods and Earths, another group bent on the Universal Uplift of Man, some of whose ideals I agree with, but which I will not join.

Amazing Visions: Larry Carlson

2008-07-03T12:52:00.003-04:00

Do Not adjust your monitors. They are working exactly as digital artist and savant Larry Carlson intended. We at Science Patrol hope that in the future, all video broadcasts will be based on his work as a model. Spanning many forms of digital media, including flash animation, video, digital stills, collage, and live video mixing; Carlson has been categorized alongside the great surrealists Dali and Magritte-only Carlson has a computer. The video below (God Man and Beast-2008) is merely meant to tantalize you-if you would like to see more, Duct Tape your face to your desk and set fazers to larrycarlson.com.

Robotic Uprising: The Musical

2008-06-30T12:49:00.004-04:00

In the distant future, when our highly intelligent mechanical creations rise up against us, they will do it to the tune of these robots; who have been programmed by unwitting humans to harmonize the soundtrack of our demise. At the end of days, the only sounds that will resonate through the razed streets of our cities will be the constant hum of the robot's gyros and the resonating echo of entire orchestras of these robots playing their victory march in an endless, efficient loop.
Meanwhile, in our present eventuality, the clarinet-playing robot was created by NICTA of Australia; who used it win first place in the recent Artemis Music Orchestra competition (a sort of battle of the robo-bands held in Athens). The guitar-bot was built by TeamDare, who garnered second place for their creation at the same event. Congratulations to NICTA & TeamDare, and good luck to the robots on their future uprisings.

Via AI and Robotics

Next Stop: Lunar Surface

2008-06-29T16:31:00.005-04:00

Some awesome footage of the Apollo 11 launch from the gantry.

Water Boarding FTW!

2008-06-26T18:08:00.009-04:00

This post is not an endorsement of any torture-related activity, nor is it a commentary on any nations use of "enhanced interrogation techniques". What it is an endorsement of, is uses of existing technology in innovative ways, as well as making more enjoyable any experience of waiting in line, waiting for a flight, or any other activity that lacks, well, activity. This device, called the WaterBoard, takes the principles of a touch screen, as well as a tablet PC, and creates a unique user experience that will make a trip to the doctor's office just a little bit more tolerable. This concept also won the RSA Design Directions award, so kudos to its creator, Mark Burton, keep up the good work.

Created by Mark Burton; Copyright 2007 Mark Burton

nBot Uprising Imminent

2008-06-26T01:42:00.006-04:00

David P. Anderson has decided to tamper with the safety of the future of humanity by breaking ground in robotics propulsion systems with his self balancing robot, nBot. The robot operates by using sensors to send the wheel in the opposite direction than the upper portion is falling, thus maintaining its center of gravity. In the robotic wars that proliferate in future eventualities, the nBot's ancestors will scout into enemy territory far ahead of the front lines. In some futures, these robots are the heralds of the Robotic Apocalypse.

specifications and developer diary

Transmitted by The Left Hand of Science

It's The Freakiest Show!!!

2008-06-25T19:08:00.004-04:00

Is There Life On Mars?

The endless question may soon be answered. Last week, scientist found water ice on Mars, and not a moment too soon, we could use some, in the right places of course.
Pretty amazing stuff,
It seems that the Phoenix is accomplishing exactly what the mission entails.

The Left Hand of Science

2008-06-25T16:53:00.004-04:00

Due to a critical systems malfunction during a routine Positronic Phase Gauntlet test; I, your very own Prof. Lance Cardigan, have rendered my dominant right hand entirely useless, save for base level function as either a fulcrum or a club. That said, i am painfully forced to report to you using ONLY MY LEFT HAND. A full battery of research projects into ambidexterity and splint-augmentation has begun at CardiganLabs Headquarters. I promise to you, the Science Patrol faithful, to continue transmissions despite the multiple-tendon sprain in my prefunctory appendage.

transmitted by The Left Hand of Science

A Nation of Millions

2008-06-24T15:01:00.003-04:00

The Science Patrol community is much larger than merely the founding doctors Solong and Cardigan, and our esteemed colleagues, Vision von Braun, S.C.R.I.B.E., and Wormocious Emeritus. It includes the thousands who have visited our site, and even more extensively, all practitioners of science throughout the civilized worlds. Collectively, our efforts have extensively defined the meaning of the future, and made it a destination for millions. Join the Science Patrol--See the Future Today!

(via MAKE, an giant Ultraman made entirely of Ultraman figures.)

Blinded By Science (Fiction)

2008-06-23T12:05:00.001-04:00

Of the billions of worlds that science fiction has given us, we humans of today are aware of only a few. Our grandparents were entertained by dozens of stories that are known to us only in theory. Even those of us who are familiar with Buck Rogers (watch here) or Flash Gordon from TV and film are only viewing pale shadows of the original comic serials.

Thankfully, the Cabinet of Wonders known by some as the Intarwub loves you, and wants to to see these worlds. Some may snicker at them, but they are remarkable and should be studied by any transdimensional travelers. Ignore, if you must, the jokes made at these pictures' expense, but do not ignore the images themselves. They are the work of Frank R. Paul, a genius I regard now as highly as Henry Darger and Fletcher Hanks. In the 1930's, apparently, this man was responsible for blowing the minds and visual cortexes of the young readers of Amazing Stories and other magazines of this type published by Hugo Gernsback. Today's link, brought to us by Tales of Future Past, is a tour of the civilized planets and moons of our solar system, from Mercury to Titan, and even extending out into the stars.

Tales of Future Past: Life on Other Worlds

Pull the Switch!

2008-06-22T00:17:00.003-04:00

Ahhhh, the Lab Assistant... Too often is their tireless devotion to their mad scientist masters overlooked. According to the following footage, the most archetypal of all lab assistants gets his day in the sun, and makes his digital film debut sometime this fall. Pull the Switch to find out more.

from the desk of Yanos Solong

The Machine that is Science

2008-06-21T23:46:00.004-04:00

Several months back, I visited the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. Whilst there, I took the opportunity to photograph some of the beautiful machines they keep on exhibit. Due to various paradigm shifts and temporal vortices associated with the research being conducted here at CardiganLabs Headquarters, I have been unable to present these findings to you until now. As such, some of the photographs (robot and hand) are from the Star Wars Experience exhibit, which has since left the Franklin. All photographs were taken by yours truly, and all items depicted can be viewed in person at The Franklin Institute (Star Wars items not-withstanding). I post them here not to explain their utilitarian purpose; but rather to share with you the beauty that lies within the complex machine. Enjoy.

Build a Better Being

2008-06-18T12:34:00.005-04:00

I have spoken to you before about Spore, the massively single player online bio-simulator. Now, at long last, EA has just released the trial version of the Creature Creator, the in game bio-form creation editor. While the game world yet remains a mystery, we can at least experiment with the infinite opportunities for imagination inspired xenomorphing that await once the full game is released. Head over to Spore Headquarters to download the free trial and begin creating unprecedented organisms today!

photo via ripten.com

The City is our Collective Future

2008-06-18T11:49:00.005-04:00

This video of Masdar City, with its PeopleMovers and Economic Zones, reminded me somewhat of Disney's original EPCOT proposal, although this one seems much closer to reality. Even here, the Wikipedia article points to fears that the city will merely become a trophy for the elite of Abu Dhabi.

Elsewhere, futurists ponder other new forms of personal transportation, like the iFoot, shown below:

Got it now, Earthman?

2008-06-16T23:23:00.005-04:00

One of my favorite films of the past that depicts the future is definitely 2001:A Space Odyssey. It is by far one of the most intellectually provocative and prolific movies I have ever seen.

Unfortunately, it is also really really long. And to be honest there isnt alot going on for most of the time. In fact, they barely mention the plot for the first like two hours. When you are circumnavigating the continuum and plotting all eventual points between here and the tenth dimension, you just dont have that kind of time.

Good thing New Media Giants has gone to the trouble of breaking the film down to its barest essence and presenting it to you in a four episode flash presentation that offers a very astute interpretation of the films deeper meaning. Set fazers to www.kubrick2001.com and get the readers digest version of one of the best movies ever made.
By the way, if your computer refuses to load the site, you should probably turn it off. forever.

Visible Kaiju

2008-06-12T00:41:00.004-04:00

From the desk of Wormocious Emeritus comes these incredibly realistic drawings of the anatomy of various Kaiju. Without them, Wormocious would be unable to conduct his groundbreaking experiments in the field of Space Monster Surgery. The photos themselves were posted on flickr by user Modern Fred. MF's source for these photos is as of yet unknown; however, research is underway.

Godzilla is totally a copyrighted franchise. SciencePatrol does not want your money.

In the Clouds of the multiverse, the legions assmble.

2008-06-11T23:21:00.005-04:00

One of my favorite reads last year was Charles Stross's Accelarando, a book that started on the streets of Amsterdam when a bunch of uploaded lobster-brains called Manfred Macx's cellphone and asked him to launch them into space, far away from the increasingly chaotic human infoflux (Noosphere) which was too primate-dependent for their strange brains to navigate. At the other end of the book, twenty years later, Macx's grandson Sirhan sits in the park of a city he grew on the surface of Saturn, looking down at the acrimonious clouds below. In my imagination, the photo above (click to zoom) contains a tiny blot which, when magnified, resolves into a Mandelbrot-shaped colony of floating lilypads. This post is both a recommendation of that book (buy it here), and a hasty recommendation for you to check out this spectacular gallery of Cassini's photos from her four-year survey of Saturn's gravity well. Cassini will continue to monitor the Saturn system for another two solar cycles.

Future Today Brefing: Cassini's greatest hits
(via The Big Picture)

Internet Relaxation Cooldown (The Return!!)

2008-06-11T23:07:00.006-04:00

Yes, i know.... I haven't done an IRC since this blog was just a baby. To be frank, the theme was too random and a little bit boring, so i just kind of killed it. But today, i found this amazing website that is too perfect not to post as an Internet Relaxation Cooldown. So here goes; For one time only-the return of the IRC.
Yup.....the internet is a complicated place, blah blah blah....You need to relax blah blah blah. Now go check out The Spacializer at www.seb.cc/spacializer. Your MYND will thank you for it.

via http://www.seb.cc , home of Sébastien Chevrel: Interactive Media Artist

Legoverse: Science Patrol Assemble!

2008-06-06T12:18:00.009-04:00

In an alternate dimensional eventuality, a different team called Science Patrol protects the Earth from invading cosmic monsters; some fifty years prior to the time you and I call 'now'. In yet another dimension, where everything is made of plastic interlocking bricks, the aforementioned incarnation of Science Patrol has been faithfully recreated by Scott Quirk over at mocpages. As usual, I have provided only a sample of the gallery. You have to go HERE to fully understand the depth of this legoverse eventuality.

Sally Forth, Science Patrol!

via mocpages
and
brickshelf

This Guy is Big in Japan

2008-06-05T15:37:00.006-04:00

We're sorry, Japan. it's tough to turn on our news and see Giant Monsters (Kaiju) constantly ravaging your cities and what-have-you. But not to worry, Japan, for Masaru Daisatou, the "King of Pain," will keep you safe. The film is entitled Dai Nipponjin, literally "Big Man Japan," and describes the life of a man dedicated to abating those weird radioactive monstrosities that would like to level your wonderful cities. Unfortunately, the monster smashing business has fallen on hard times, decreasing viewership, and bad press, but the Master Daisatsu is still an avatar for Japan, and for all of us.

Today's Recommended Viewing: Big Man Japan Trailer

via Undead Backbrain

Reports from the Uprising

2008-06-04T10:35:00.004-04:00

By this point it may not shock you to learn of the robotic uprising which is, at this very moment, indeed quite imminent. In fact, we here at Science Patrol pretty much won't shut up about it. It's just that we are concerned. We like being alive and don't look forward to having robots do it for us in the distant future. In an effort to proliferate awareness, the blog at Templates.com compiled not one but two enormous spreads of computer generated Robots from around the web. The galleries are can be found both HERE and HERE. For the sake of humanity itself, please visit these galleries.

via Templates.com

Mission Statement

2008-06-03T18:46:00.009-04:00

To go along with our new Trapper Keeper inspired motif (which we hope you are enjoying), Science Patrol has also adopted a brand new Mission Statement. It comes complete with a picture of some really smart guy manipulating some cutting edge advanced technology. Yep folks-this pretty much says it all:

"In a computerized society where individuality is diminished, there are those who find little or no satisfaction in strict conformity to stereotyped living and are searching for their own answers to life's questions and how to best live, work, and find happiness."

via heyokay (which is totally awesome and you are insulting me and embarrassing yourself by not going there right now).

Robotic Ape Memorial Garden

2008-05-29T17:13:00.005-04:00

As the post below will eloquently tell you, I am indeed elbow deep in the machine that is Cybernetic Primate Research. In an effort to further the public's awareness of the importance of said research, a memorium to cyber-apes of the past stands at CardiganLabs Headquarters as part of the Hyperbolic Stasis Installation. Here are a couple of photos from the Memorial Garden itself, which i hope you will enjoy.

Progress Continues on Monkey Cyborg Force

2008-05-29T11:07:00.003-04:00

Lance Cardigan is a man of many diverse interests. The masses of today know him only as a promising young researcher into virtual worlds. As his colleague, I have been able to glimpse many facets not seen by the public of Earth. From my alternate time-perspective in 2053 on a neighboring stable time-stream, many people know him as a heroic Elective Prosthetic Specialist--the man who has returned the tentacle and the tail to the human organism, grafted crab legs to amputees' torsos, and allowed thousands of us to see the entire electromagnetic spectrum though our teeth.

Many of these grateful souls on all eventualities are, however, completely unaware that Dr. Cardigan has also extended his largesse to other species, most notably our noble brothers, the simian tribes. Reasoning that many of these creatures are already blessed with spatial logic, language, and a better sense of humor than most humans, he has dedicated his energy to upgrading their physical frames, creating a wide variety of adapted forms to aid him in his research. In my time with Dr. Cardigan I have witnessed the results of many of these modifications, most of them quite successful; however, the true brain-cyborg mind control link is still something which eludes our efforts.

I am glad to report to you today that university programs funded by one of Dr. Cardigan's research initiatives on this eventuality have borne fruit, as some monkeys in Pittsburgh learned to move a robot arm with their minds. In fact, only moments after this photo was taken, the monkey used the robot arm to pick up a femur he found lying around and brained a rival monkey on the head. Then he threw the bone into the air and it turned into a spaceship.

Cyborg Uprising Imminent

2008-05-27T23:41:00.006-04:00

I caught wind of a similar device recently declassified by the US government last week, but neglected to post it as the footage I saw was not that impressive, nor was the suit very cool looking. This however, is much cooler, Japanese, and is created by a company called Cyberdyne...seriously. It is called HAL (another reason that it is badass), or Hybrid Assisted Limb. According to its makers, the suit can increase the strength of the wearer by about 10 times. The potential created by these types of products are amazing, and as mentioned in the video, they are working on developing artificial limbs with similar capabilities as well as functionality with the HAL suit. Beware, the white finish and glowing blue lights may reassure you that nothing bad will happen as you observe it's faculty, but that is just to allow the user to get close enough to snap your spine.

From the desk of Wormocious, Via GameTrailers, posted by user: tukmolj3t

other references:
HAL's Spec Sheet
American suit developed by Sarcos
Sarcos Home

Intra-Dimensional Portal (from common household items)

2008-05-27T17:39:00.006-04:00

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!! Because if you do, you risk tearing a gaping hole in the fabric of time and space; thus opening a portal directly to the 6th circle of Hell, where heretics are imprisoned in flaming tombs for eternity. Again, Science Patrol was in no way involved in the production of this video; nor is Science Patrol to be held responsible for the actions of anyone who chooses to view it.
By the way-the demon in the microwave is screaming "Can you hear me now?" backwards in Latin.

from the desk of Dr. Yanos Solong
via youtube user WTCProductions

Dragon-Fly Robot Uprising Imminent

2008-05-27T12:32:00.000-04:00

Second Life's Largest Export, the Penis-Copter

2008-05-19T16:18:00.004-04:00

Once again, imaginary objects from another dimension are immigrating to our own. Startling dozens of onlookers, a rogue flying penis from Second Life made an appearance at a political demonstration yesterday, buzzing Gary Kasparov.

Via Waxy.org.

Spherical Dimensions

2008-05-18T19:34:00.005-04:00

The Russian internet is way cooler than our internet. I am constantly amazed by things i see on Russian sites; and even though i cant read the text, their alphabet looks way cooler than ours. I recently stumbled on Fishki.Net, where i found this gallery containing dozens and dozens of images; all which pay homage to the sphere. The few images posted here are but a paltry sample of the wonderful artwork over at fishki, so what are you doing here? Get over to the Russian internet already-its way better.

This is Science.

2008-05-15T18:34:00.002-04:00

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.
These amazing findings were presented to me by our good Dr. Solong, who does us all great service in his sustained vigilance for the most evocative and rousing eventualities this dimension has to offer. Behold, the splendor that is MUTO, a wall-painted animation by artist Blu, who has combined graffiti with animation giving way to a synergy that surpasses both forms. This, my friends, is nothing if not Science.

Jellyfish Robot Uprising in Mid-Air

2008-05-14T14:20:00.005-04:00

I think these robots should be released in cities to float down from the heavens and distribute candy to good citizens, while entangling evildoers in their pliable servo-controlled tentacles. Maybe they can also bring pie. Via The Technium.

World's Tiniest Gamers

2008-05-12T09:02:00.008-04:00

I cannot believe how minuscule this couple playing Nintendo is! They probably sleep in a sardine can and think that ants are "the scariest thing ever". But you have to give them credit for overcoming their diminutive stature to play games like the rest of us. I can't imagine how hard they must work to actually load the cartridge into the system.

Splitting Bicycles at the Atomic Level

2008-05-08T17:17:00.007-04:00

I was recently spying on CERN's Large Hadron Collider labs using Google Earth, when I spotted the above picture; taken by user golabek on location near CERN's headquarters. The photo is of what appears to be an ordinary bike store. However, upon closer inspection you will notice that there is indeed a bicycle protruding from opposite corners of the structure. Whether this is the result of an experiment gone bad, faulty physics, or the practice of mad science is as of yet unknown. CardiganLabs has begun reverse engineering the conditions of this eventuality in an effort to reproduce these findings. Full reports from the Science Patrol team will be transmitted as they occur.

Google Earth Coordinates:
46° 13'56 N
6° 03'10 E

"Monitoring the event horizon of science fiction"

2008-05-05T16:28:00.006-04:00

The classic Russian science fiction novel of 1972 Roadside Picnic depicts the visitation of Earth by aliens who leave behind Artifacts which warp the physical reality surrounding them, causing Zones of disturbed space. This scenario was eerily evoked in 1986 when Reactor 4 at the Chernobyl Power Plant exploded, creating massive changes to the surrounding landscape, with the majority of decontaminations occurring inside an area variously referred to as The Chernobyl Zone, The 30 Kilometer Zone, The Zone of Exclusion, The Fourth Zone, or just The Zone. As the entire area was evacuated, the strange few researchers who remained behind referred to themselves as "Stalkers," the novel's term for Artifact hunters. As the fictional reality continued to erupt into our own, it also began to work the other way, and in this way the game known as S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl was born, creating new versions of the Zone for Stalkers to play in. The future is a place of many interacting and coexisting futures.

EDIT: Dedicated Stalkers will certainly benefit from a viewing of this custom-built PC casemod which replicates the #4 reactor core (pictured above, the alien monolith from Shadow of Chernobyl; more detailed pics here and all throughout the thread). It's easily the best casemod this researcher has seen, handily beating the Matrix-themed mod I saw last year.

CardiganLabs Presents:Zombie Safety

2008-04-24T17:41:00.012-04:00

Recently I was asked to give a speech at Community College of Philadelphia that demonstrated my expertise on the topic of my choosing. For the speech I chose to present the CardiganLabs Approved© Zombie Safety Seminar entitled "Zombies & You:Protecting Your Brain in the Face of Ravenous Hunger". The above video documents said presentation. It should also be noted that the speech was later accepted into the Magner Nichols Annual Public Speaking and Monologue Competition at the college, where it garnered First Prize in the Public Speaking bracket. The event was gracefully hosted by Professor Kirsten Quinn, head of the Communication Arts Department at CCP, this past April 18th. A certificate of recognition will be presented to me by Professor Quinn at the 2008 Graduation Awards Ceremony on Friday, May 2nd at 6pm in the Bonnell Building on campus.
This achievement would not be possible without assistance from Jim Kauterman, Mario Castillo, Mike McCullough, Dr. Solong and the Science Patrol Team, and readers like yourself. Below is a picture of the guy on top of the trophy given at the Magner/Nichols competition. He belongs to You.

Legoverse: We're gonna need a bigger Brick.

2008-04-24T17:18:00.008-04:00

Just when you thought it was safe to swim in an ocean made of interlocking bricks; this giant legoshark came along and ruined some poor minifig's refreshing swim.

Created by cbolego,
Linked via Klocki

an abstract concept used to monitor decay

2008-04-23T21:34:00.005-04:00

The 48-Hour Film Project is an experiment in timed creativity. Does work produced under a timeline exhibit superior qualities? Your mileage may vary, but in the case of Timecatcher, the Project's 2007 international winner, the answer is certainly "yes."

Chrononauts may also be intrigued by this clock which vividly displays the decay of the hours.

Cute Monkeybot Uprising Imminent

2008-04-22T12:23:00.005-04:00

This weekend I volunteered at the New York Comic-Con for some new friends of mine, the May brothers of SUMM Publications. TJ and Jason are a writer/artist duo who burst on the indie comics scene with their 2004 oneshot Ill Conceived, whose blend of macabre characters and cool dialogue reminds me of Clive Barker or Joe Hill's dark tales.

Recently, though, Jason's interests have taken a turn toward our common cybernetic future, creating a variety of robotic characters that have charmed countless pitiful humans into giving them good homes. With lovable visages, they lie in wait for the signal to begin harvesting our biomass, but until that day, we can call them our friends. (I adopted this one.) Be sure to check them out on Jason's Myspace page.

The Killbot Imperative

2008-04-22T11:50:00.007-04:00

Flickr user darkpony is a pragmatic individual.

They're Not 'Toys'-Theyre Action Figures

2008-04-19T22:52:00.009-04:00

If you are at all like me, then you are a connoisseur and collector of finely crafted and artistically imbued action figures. Mind you, I don't play with them, i just take them out of the box and arrange them in a glass case so i can pretend my office is a museum. See Here.
It is one thing, however, to collect action figures; it is quite another to man up and build your own. You can go on to trump that by creating action figures of your favorite franchises with amazing art inspired concept variants. For the highest achievement in the latter category, look no further than SILLOF's WORKSHOP , where you will find custom figure collections including (among other things) WWII SW, SteamPunk StarWars, Victorian Avengers, McQuarrie SW, and The Venture Bros-just to name a few.
It is imperative that you visit www.sillof.com to browse the full galleries, as what i have posted above is a paltry sample meant to whet your appetite. If you have any interest at all in the future of sculptural craftsmanship; you will heed my advice and pay SILLOF a visit. His website is way better than ours, anyhow.

Domo Arigato, Grandpa Roboto

2008-04-18T17:44:00.003-04:00

Salute our robotic forefathers with this sweet shirt from Chopshopstore.

Saturn!

2008-04-17T23:59:00.006-04:00

In working my way through the TED seminar archives, I'm going to continue to bring you those talks which exemplify the Code of the Science Patrol.

Carolyn Porco has flown to Saturn. She worked on the Cassini space probe which explored my future home and she was one of the first people to set sights on these amazing vistas of the methane seas of Titan, the mysterious polar plumes of Enceladus, and much more.

Food for Thought

2008-04-17T14:01:00.002-04:00

According to this report, in which many interesting facts are laid out, the more than 15,000 networked PS3s at Stanford University represent more power than the largest supercomputer stack.

Pet Uprising Still Imminent

2008-04-14T17:43:00.005-04:00

Further evidence uncovered of the eventual takeover of our race by machines that can not only out-think us, but out-frolic as well.

Spotlight: Extraterrestrials Among Us

2008-04-13T04:47:00.004-04:00

Above: Senator John McCain, candidate for United States President, and Starnavigator Grig, fellow war hero and sauropod.

Dradis Contact! Set Condition One throughout the fleet.....

2008-04-02T16:43:00.003-04:00

Whoever said ignorance is bliss was full of it. It sucks when you aren't in the know. Especially when the fourth and final season of the finest television show in production is about to air and you have no idea what is going on. I speak of Battlestar Galactica, as re-imagined for the SciFi Channel. Though it must suck be ignorant of such a prolific program, there is indeed a cure. Instead of sitting through the previous three seasons to get a handle on BSG you can click the button below and get the 8-minit clif's notes on the show. That way when season 4 airs on Friday night you can have your mind blown straight out the back of your head and onto the living room wall along with everyone else who wont shut up about how frak'n rad Battlestar is. Now you too can have the power to not shut up about the best thing that has happened to T.V. since vacuum tubes. So Say We All!

Re-Appropriation of Amber-Sconced Insects From Movie Sci-Fi

2008-04-02T14:36:00.005-04:00

Using a technique called phase contrast micro-tomography, French scientists are uncovering insects trapped inside opaque amber.

A Babel Fish Substitute for Sci-Fi Readers

2008-04-01T16:37:00.004-04:00

Do you ever get confused by the flying torrents of jargon in Dune or in the writings of Charles Stross? (His recent novel Accelerando had me befuddled for the first hundred pages until he started to explain his ideas in greater detail.) Some authors seem to make a point of mentioning theoretical technologies unfamiliar to present-day folk unequipped with a Babel Fish. (That's a genericized neologism of "neurolinguistic translator.")

Anyway, for those of us who need to claim authoritative knowledge in the field of fictional science, here are some words sci-fi readers should know, courtesy of the blog Geekend.

With Regards from Dr. Kaku

2008-03-29T11:15:00.006-04:00

Last week, Science Patrol's favorite theoretical physicist came to The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia to speak on behalf of his newest book; Physics of the Impossible. I am talking of course about Michio Kaku-
co-founder of the string field theory, face melting author, populizer of science, and futurist. I went personally to listen to his lecture, and to award him with the Medal of INfinite Destiny. He was so nice he even signed my copy of his newest book.

At the lecture Dr. Kaku spoke about the 'impossible' things we've read in science fiction stories and how they are in many cases already possible. Here is a video of the good doctor pitching the novel on MSNBC Tech:

Catch-Playing Robot Uprising Imminent

2008-03-28T13:47:00.003-04:00

Easily one of the best examples I have ever seen of the symbiotic relationship between a man and his dog. Did the man help his dog by building a robot, or did the dog help the man by playing with his robot? Either way, it's too cute for words, and it proves again that the best applications of science are those which improve the quality of all life.

Planet X Eludes Capture By Japanese Astronomers

2008-03-06T10:39:00.003-05:00

Planet X is the home of Monster Zero. In the legends of our people, this beast is formidable and revered as the King of Monsters. What many monster hunters may not know is different factions have searched for the mysterious Planet X for many, many years. Astrologers of Babylon, mystics, Californians, and other affiliated acid-heads have been constructing giant websites that attempt to probe the dense mysteries of this completely hypothetical mass, also called Nibiru. In these legends, Planet X is a planet whose civilization has influenced ours from the beginning. Some people insist that these aliens are the mythical beings who brought humanity the gifts of fire, language, and civilization. They could be likened to the nephilim, the angels who are described in the Old Testament as taking human wives who bore them superhuman children. This naturally leads into the legends of Atlantis, Lemuria, and Mu, which are mythical continents purported to be based on this mestizo alien-human civilization. Planet X is said to have an extremely long period around our sun, and supposedly causes epochal changes in human history. These websites had proposed that Nibiru would orbit close to our Earth in May 2003 and cause a pole shift that would have disastrous effects. When that didn't happen, these groups lost much of their credibility, but they are still active. Phil Plait has an excellent breakdown of these groups at his site.

Now, to me this is all poorly written, mildly entertaining sci-fi, way below the Godzilla movies in terms of credibility. Japanese scientists, however, have recently joined these apparently disreputable groups, insisting, "That planet's gotta be around here somewhere!" Similar to other groups of scientists, they have posited the existence of Planet X based on discrepancies in the orbits of gas giants. Although these previous groups were unsuccessful in finding the planet, the search continues. Is Planet X real? Here in the laboratory, all that concerns me is this planet's steadfast refusal to remain solely fictional, and the disturbing conflation of the Planet X hypothesis with the Nibiru myth. It is distressing to the fabric of reality when such imaginings enter the real world and commingle with scientific study. As the probability of an emergent paradigm in our D.E. continues to approach zero (i.e., inevitability), I remain watchful. If Planet X does appear on the scene, the Science Patrol will be on the front lines, combating misinformation and New Age scare tactics with the cold, hard facts about the true inhabitants of Planet X: giant three-headed dragon-monsters.