LHC to continue to be rad as hell in 2009

We're all amped at SP HQ for CERN to fire up the LHC after their troubles in September, and on that front, some very good news was released a about a week and a half ago that stoked our amperage. It seems that the brohams at CERN think that they'll be back in operation by the summer. The recent press release also gives some more insight into what happened in the aforementioned incident, and the corresponding shutdown that has lasted 3 months, and looks aimed to continue for several more. Photos were issued to the press giving us an up-close look at some of the broken components that are scheduled for replacement/repair.

So get ready for more shredding from the dudes in Europe super-colliding all kinds of stuff. Sick!

Press Release

Put an APB on that UFO

What precedes is police cruiser dash-cam footage of an alleged "meteor" crashing to the Earth in Edmonton, Canada. Likely cover story, Mounties. We all know that meteors, weather balloons, and gas clouds don't really exist. All of those pretty lights in the sky are actually SciencePatrol personnel returning from holiday in outer-space.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Dalek Overlord Davros has no interest whatsoever in wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving. We here at SciencePatrol, however, wish you a very happy one indeed. May you and yours find a plethora of reasons to give thanks this holiday season. Unless of course you are of the turkey speices, in which case "EXTERMINATE!"

The Future is So Bright, I Manufacture My Own Spectacles

In the world of machines that really matter, few are as inspiring as robots. However, when most people imagine a robot, they see a mobile unit designed to interact with or substitute a human, or a machine designed to complete a specific task. What about a machine designed to make copies of things, even itself? Known as 3D printers, CnC machines, rapid prototypers, fabricators, or Universal Assemblers, these machines are predicted to transform the landscape of the 21st century, and indeed, are transforming the lives of a select group of geeks today. The RepRap project is designed to build and popularize such machines, and from the looks of it, they are well on their way, having recently managed to make a version which can copy itself.

It's a wonderful idea, in theory, but one may ask: once one has obtained one of these tiny automated manufacturing plants, what exactly would you do with it? Armed with knowledge of a CAD program, one can sculpt virtual objects and print them out in a variety of materials. Today, those armed with CAD knowledge and inspiration to burn can upload their designs to a new site called Thingiverse, releaseing their creations into the world.

Those interested in trying their hand at designing objects which don't yet exist should download the free Google SketchUp and get cracking.

Legoverse: Wormsign!

"We have wormsign the likes of which God has never seen."


This legoverse eventuality was brought to you by RebelRock at Brickshelf.

Now where did I put my Einstein-Rosen Bridge?

This $20 kit promises hours of fun for the prospective parallel worlds tourist. Simply by activating your device, you could have your pick of trillions of alternate universes. Then you just have to figure out how to get there. Somehow I don't think Hopstop supports this function yet.

Speaking of alternate universes, I have been getting quite a kick out of Neal Stephenson's Anathem. In a strange version of our own world, a hermetic order called the Discipline are the last to preserve the ways of logic and scholarship when the society around them has collapsed into degeneracy. The history of the planet Arbre is eerily familiar to our own, and yet, wonderfully alien at the same time. Like Stephenson's other works, every page unfolds a new treat for the questing mind. Fans of philosophy, alternate worlds, and the Hitchhiker's Guides will definitely enjoy this book.

Jeff Smith, creator of Bone, has a new title out as well, and this world-hopping adventure is definitely not for kids. RASL is the story of a scientist searching through multiple realities for the woman he loves, or something. I'm still trying to figure it out but I'm having a lot of fun along the way.

Happy Halloween!

Science Patrol is joined by radioactive space bug Megalon in wishing you the happiest of All Hallow's Eves.

Thought for the Day

Via Zom-Bot.com, a chilling reminder of the possibilities of science.

The New Sun

Carbon nanotubes are the building blocks of most potential eventualities on our radar screen. They have numerous applications in the medical and electronics fields, and Japanese scientists are currently at work adapting them into a cable for their space elevator. Despite advances in the past five years which have multiplied their strength 100 times, they will need to improve on their current strength another four times to realize this endeavor. We believe in you, Japan!

This photo by Paul Marshall was selected by National Geographic as one of the top microscopic photos of the year. We also recommend this image of the world inside mitomycin.

This image explains everything.

This should make understanding things a bit simpler. It, and many other images found here, are the work of fiction science illustrator Frank R. Paul.


A special Thank You to Frank Wu, for turning me on to the late Mr. Paul, and also for his own prolific body of work in the field of Fiction Science Imaging. (Yanos has pointed out to me that while my attention was elsewhang, he has previously blogged about Frank R. Paul and his voyages to other worlds.)

These Animals are Made Out of Meat

Wormocious has alerted us to an invasion of artistic intentions in the New York City area. A small pet shop in the West Village is selling some very strange animals in its window displays. The proprietor, known as "Banksy," could not be reached for comment.





This pet shop is especially interesting because Banksy has always done his work under the cover of anonymity. An exhibition of this size, however, would seem to require more covert planning and necessary arrangements that could possibly reveal his identity. Does he have a circle of conspirators surrounding him like a cordon of Secret Service agents, who carry out his orders to lease a space and arrange the necessary permits? Are they in fact giant rats?

Or maybe Banksy is a coalition of giant rat artists attempting to increase our awareness that we are not the only intelligent inhabitants of the cities of the world. The infection has spread across the ocean from London to America. It is said that anywhere in the world that humans have congregated, rats and crows can be found in great numbers, but they do not range more than 5 miles from these settlements without their numbers swiftly diminishing. Perhaps we should be expecting great works of art from the crow species as well.

Audiopad: The look and feel of sound.

In the future, DJs will have you shaking your rump and raising the roof by interfacing with projected graphical interfaces that directly manipulate sound frequencies. Wait...thats not the future, that is happening now. James Patten and Ben Recht of localfields created Audiopad several years ago, and have been touching sound ever since. It just goes to show that at SciencePatrol, sometimes the future is the past.

The Uprising Will Be Televised:World War

In the robotic uprisings of the future, long after the machines have decimated humanity in a bid for global domination; the infighting will ensue. The vast legions of robotic war machines will turn in on themselves; separate factions all vying for the same prize. What results is a perverse form of mechanized violence that our fleshy, organic minds can only begin to fathom.
As it happens, this exact scenario is pre-supposed in this short film by digital artist Vincent Chai, as his final project at the University Of Hertfordshire. Watch now before your back is forced against the wall by robotic beings who will stop at nothing to end you. These things are imminent, you know.

The Artificial Animation of Plastic

Joshua Allen Harris is an artist whose medium is plastic bags, animated by blasts of air from subway vents and other unnatural sources. These videos are evidence of a strange new form of artificial life. My favorite is the air giraffe.

In Space, Noone can hear you [expletive].

From the delightful blog divine caroline comes this informative video explaining how astronauts manage to poop in zero Gs. In future dimensions, Astronauts will read SciencePatrol blog posts printed directly onto their rolls of toiletpaper, which will be constructed of carbon-nanotubes; able to withstand the high intensity gamma radiation bursts which they are subjected to while in range of the van allen belts.

This is Happening Now: Braid released on Xbox Live

Yanos Solong sat at the control panel of the ESME, the endlessly transforming 4-dimensional molecule that served as the Eventuality Survey Team's base of operations, playing a game of chess with the S.C.R.I.B.E. unit and watching the display screens. While on the surface everything appeared normal, Yanos had an impending feeling that an encroaching eventuality would soon present itself for investigation.

At the very moment that Yanos decided to castle on the king's side, an electronic buzzer sounded and the voice of ESME filled the cabin:

There is a new eventuality fold in the XBox Live community that I think you should take a look at, sir.

Sweeping the chess game off the coffee table for the moment, Yanos told the computer to display the relevant information from the Xbox Live server, but was greeted instead by an image of himself, looking slightly more unkempt, but otherwise identical.

"Yanos, this is Yanos + 48 hours on your current timestream. I've interrupted your vector to inform you that a highly important game named Braid has been released on Xbox Live. As you know, this occurrence has been highly anticipated among researchers into parallel timelines and alternate realties. The designer, Jonathan Blow, has produced a groundbreaking work, a training program for interdimensional travelers that is also a profound meditation into the nature of time and memory. I'm pleased to award Jonathan with the Medal of Infinite Density, and I want to thank him for providing humanity with his insight. Braid will become part of the Science Patrol Academy's virtualization training course, required playing for all enlightened beings. Now go forth and explore all vectors within the tenth-dimensional lightcone of existence. Solong out."

Warping the 11th Dimension

New word has reached Science Patrol headquarters of progress on a new type of theoretical hyperdrive. This warp engine was originally conceived by Michael Alcubierre, who imagined a spaceship surfing on a bubble of expanded space-time, but was unable to explain how space-time could actually be distorted. Now two theoretical mathematicians, Gerald Cleaver and Richard Obousy, have written a paper proposing that specific manipulation of the 11th dimension may allow the necessary distortion bubble to appear. This method of field manipulation will allow what has been referred to by some as "travelling without moving." The complete paper can be read here.

We're Ready to Believe You!

When your walking down the street, and you see a little ghost....whatcha gonna do? Ghostbusters!
From usual suspect Brickshelf comes both vehicles from ghostbusters 1 and 2. Ecto1 and Ecto1A were both constructed by user jminc, as no other sane human being would ever stack bricks like this. Both of these sculptures have PKG readings off the charts; whoever built them was either a complete genius or a certifiable wacko. Set protonic reversal rays to this link to see more pics of these creations.

Announcing Hypothetical Futures: A Science Patrol Wiki

The history we record here in the Science Patrol blog is newly written. Our motto is: if the universe asks a hypothetical question, we expect that it will be answered. We have dedicated our consciousness to the discovery and exploration of unknown possibilities, which we refer to as eventualities. Pretty much anything that ever happened started as an eventuality, as did every story ever told. Shockingly, for each explored world you can name, there are infinitely more eventualities that have never been discovered.

Our use of the Science Patrol moniker is somewhat vague, as something over 5 billion Science Patrol squads have existed since the original team led by Shin Hayata. These squads operated under such various names as the Ultra Garrison of the Terrestrial Defense Force, the Monster Attack Team, the Terrible Monster Attacking Crew, the ZAT (Zariba of All Territory), MAC, UGM, UMA, WINR, GUTS, EYES, the Terrestrial Peacable Consortium, and too many others to name. At any rate, the official name of our squad is the Eventuality Survey Team, and our mission, as stated above, is to scan all eventualities for novel or unusual phenomena and examine them in their native context, and where desirable, transport them to our labs for further (non-invasive) study. As Acting Conceptual Director, it is my pleasure to announce that beginning now, all our observations will be recorded in our new Wiki, Hypothetical Futures, at http://eventuality.wikidot.com. This will be the repository of all official EST documents, as well as our findings on the limitless fractal dimensions, pocket universes, timestreams, uncollapsed waveforms, anti-strange quarks, and other phenomena of the multiverse that we have quarantined for extensive study. This blog will continue to broadcast new discoveries and creations as they unfold. Solong, out.

The Future of Time

In the not too distant future, the day will come when the line between the human organism and his technology will be forever blurred, as we will interface with devices conveniently implanted on our own bodies. One small step in that direction can be seen here.The Timex TX54 is a product of Timex2154:The Future of Time; a competition held by Core77 and Timex, to continue in a tradition of 150 years of design innovation. Today, a fingernail-tomorrow, your MYND.


via TheDesignBlog

Sillof Strikes Back (action figures sold seperatley)

In the recent past, I have reported to you about crazed inventor Sillof, and how he has the coolest toys. Well now hes back, and he is doing the sequel to his original Starwars line; with his usual steampunk aplomb.
The Empire Strikes Back line of steampunk toys includes Snowtrooper, TIE Pilot, Lando, and the whole line of Bounty Hunters (we dont need their scum!). Lock S-foils into attack position and rendevous at Sillof's Workshop to see the entire set. You're our only hope.

The Body Selectric

The work of Brian Dettmer in the area of book autopsies has been featured before in these halls of science, and in similar spirit his work is being featured here again today. Although Brian is not a scientist, his work encourages a similar exploration into our collective past and the ways it can be reconfigured. His piece "The Cassette Tape Skeleton" is a powerful relic from our imagined past.

Touch the Monolith

Via Charles Stross: last month, a new group called the Order of Cosmic Engineers released a prospectus in which they lay out their plan to remake our universe in Singular terms, that is, optimistically, and with a mind to create a "magical universe." Reading as I am the first book in Iain Banks's Culture series, I can't help but feel this is how it all started. I consider their aims mostly in line with my own hopes for the human species, and I do think that such groups will be necessary to complete such lofty goals, but I am reluctant to see it birthed here in such an obviously self-righteous fashion. Their own claims to be an "UNreligion" notwithstanding, I cannot see how they will avoid the worst problems of other religious groups: insularity, echo chambers, excessive optimism, and pot-luck dinners. Still, I'm sure there are some very interesting people involved, and I'd love to pick their brains.

Also on my mind lately, the Nation of Gods and Earths, another group bent on the Universal Uplift of Man, some of whose ideals I agree with, but which I will not join.

Amazing Visions: Larry Carlson

Do Not adjust your monitors. They are working exactly as digital artist and savant Larry Carlson intended. We at Science Patrol hope that in the future, all video broadcasts will be based on his work as a model. Spanning many forms of digital media, including flash animation, video, digital stills, collage, and live video mixing; Carlson has been categorized alongside the great surrealists Dali and Magritte-only Carlson has a computer. The video below (God Man and Beast-2008) is merely meant to tantalize you-if you would like to see more, Duct Tape your face to your desk and set fazers to larrycarlson.com.

Robotic Uprising: The Musical

In the distant future, when our highly intelligent mechanical creations rise up against us, they will do it to the tune of these robots; who have been programmed by unwitting humans to harmonize the soundtrack of our demise. At the end of days, the only sounds that will resonate through the razed streets of our cities will be the constant hum of the robot's gyros and the resonating echo of entire orchestras of these robots playing their victory march in an endless, efficient loop.
Meanwhile, in our present eventuality, the clarinet-playing robot was created by NICTA of Australia; who used it win first place in the recent Artemis Music Orchestra competition (a sort of battle of the robo-bands held in Athens). The guitar-bot was built by TeamDare, who garnered second place for their creation at the same event. Congratulations to NICTA & TeamDare, and good luck to the robots on their future uprisings.





Via AI and Robotics

Next Stop: Lunar Surface

Some awesome footage of the Apollo 11 launch from the gantry.

Water Boarding FTW!

This post is not an endorsement of any torture-related activity, nor is it a commentary on any nations use of "enhanced interrogation techniques". What it is an endorsement of, is uses of existing technology in innovative ways, as well as making more enjoyable any experience of waiting in line, waiting for a flight, or any other activity that lacks, well, activity. This device, called the WaterBoard, takes the principles of a touch screen, as well as a tablet PC, and creates a unique user experience that will make a trip to the doctor's office just a little bit more tolerable. This concept also won the RSA Design Directions award, so kudos to its creator, Mark Burton, keep up the good work.



Created by Mark Burton; Copyright 2007 Mark Burton

nBot Uprising Imminent

David P. Anderson has decided to tamper with the safety of the future of humanity by breaking ground in robotics propulsion systems with his self balancing robot, nBot. The robot operates by using sensors to send the wheel in the opposite direction than the upper portion is falling, thus maintaining its center of gravity. In the robotic wars that proliferate in future eventualities, the nBot's ancestors will scout into enemy territory far ahead of the front lines. In some futures, these robots are the heralds of the Robotic Apocalypse.

specifications and developer diary



Transmitted by The Left Hand of Science

It's The Freakiest Show!!!

Is There Life On Mars?


The endless question may soon be answered. Last week, scientist found water ice on Mars, and not a moment too soon, we could use some, in the right places of course.
Pretty amazing stuff,
It seems that the Phoenix is accomplishing exactly what the mission entails.

The Left Hand of Science

Due to a critical systems malfunction during a routine Positronic Phase Gauntlet test; I, your very own Prof. Lance Cardigan, have rendered my dominant right hand entirely useless, save for base level function as either a fulcrum or a club. That said, i am painfully forced to report to you using ONLY MY LEFT HAND. A full battery of research projects into ambidexterity and splint-augmentation has begun at CardiganLabs Headquarters. I promise to you, the Science Patrol faithful, to continue transmissions despite the multiple-tendon sprain in my prefunctory appendage.

transmitted by The Left Hand of Science

A Nation of Millions

The Science Patrol community is much larger than merely the founding doctors Solong and Cardigan, and our esteemed colleagues, Vision von Braun, S.C.R.I.B.E., and Wormocious Emeritus. It includes the thousands who have visited our site, and even more extensively, all practitioners of science throughout the civilized worlds. Collectively, our efforts have extensively defined the meaning of the future, and made it a destination for millions. Join the Science Patrol--See the Future Today!

(via MAKE, an giant Ultraman made entirely of Ultraman figures.)

Blinded By Science (Fiction)

Of the billions of worlds that science fiction has given us, we humans of today are aware of only a few. Our grandparents were entertained by dozens of stories that are known to us only in theory. Even those of us who are familiar with Buck Rogers (watch here) or Flash Gordon from TV and film are only viewing pale shadows of the original comic serials.

Thankfully, the Cabinet of Wonders known by some as the Intarwub loves you, and wants to to see these worlds. Some may snicker at them, but they are remarkable and should be studied by any transdimensional travelers. Ignore, if you must, the jokes made at these pictures' expense, but do not ignore the images themselves. They are the work of Frank R. Paul, a genius I regard now as highly as Henry Darger and Fletcher Hanks. In the 1930's, apparently, this man was responsible for blowing the minds and visual cortexes of the young readers of Amazing Stories and other magazines of this type published by Hugo Gernsback. Today's link, brought to us by Tales of Future Past, is a tour of the civilized planets and moons of our solar system, from Mercury to Titan, and even extending out into the stars.

Tales of Future Past: Life on Other Worlds

Pull the Switch!

Ahhhh, the Lab Assistant... Too often is their tireless devotion to their mad scientist masters overlooked. According to the following footage, the most archetypal of all lab assistants gets his day in the sun, and makes his digital film debut sometime this fall. Pull the Switch to find out more.



from the desk of Yanos Solong

The Machine that is Science

Several months back, I visited the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. Whilst there, I took the opportunity to photograph some of the beautiful machines they keep on exhibit. Due to various paradigm shifts and temporal vortices associated with the research being conducted here at CardiganLabs Headquarters, I have been unable to present these findings to you until now. As such, some of the photographs (robot and hand) are from the Star Wars Experience exhibit, which has since left the Franklin. All photographs were taken by yours truly, and all items depicted can be viewed in person at The Franklin Institute (Star Wars items not-withstanding). I post them here not to explain their utilitarian purpose; but rather to share with you the beauty that lies within the complex machine. Enjoy.

Build a Better Being

I have spoken to you before about Spore, the massively single player online bio-simulator. Now, at long last, EA has just released the trial version of the Creature Creator, the in game bio-form creation editor. While the game world yet remains a mystery, we can at least experiment with the infinite opportunities for imagination inspired xenomorphing that await once the full game is released. Head over to Spore Headquarters to download the free trial and begin creating unprecedented organisms today!

photo via ripten.com

The City is our Collective Future

This video of Masdar City, with its PeopleMovers and Economic Zones, reminded me somewhat of Disney's original EPCOT proposal, although this one seems much closer to reality. Even here, the Wikipedia article points to fears that the city will merely become a trophy for the elite of Abu Dhabi.

Elsewhere, futurists ponder other new forms of personal transportation, like the iFoot, shown below:

Got it now, Earthman?

One of my favorite films of the past that depicts the future is definitely 2001:A Space Odyssey. It is by far one of the most intellectually provocative and prolific movies I have ever seen.

Unfortunately, it is also really really long. And to be honest there isnt alot going on for most of the time. In fact, they barely mention the plot for the first like two hours. When you are circumnavigating the continuum and plotting all eventual points between here and the tenth dimension, you just dont have that kind of time.

Good thing New Media Giants has gone to the trouble of breaking the film down to its barest essence and presenting it to you in a four episode flash presentation that offers a very astute interpretation of the films deeper meaning. Set fazers to www.kubrick2001.com and get the readers digest version of one of the best movies ever made.
By the way, if your computer refuses to load the site, you should probably turn it off. forever.

Visible Kaiju

From the desk of Wormocious Emeritus comes these incredibly realistic drawings of the anatomy of various Kaiju. Without them, Wormocious would be unable to conduct his groundbreaking experiments in the field of Space Monster Surgery. The photos themselves were posted on flickr by user Modern Fred. MF's source for these photos is as of yet unknown; however, research is underway.




Godzilla is totally a copyrighted franchise. SciencePatrol does not want your money.

In the Clouds of the multiverse, the legions assmble.

One of my favorite reads last year was Charles Stross's Accelarando, a book that started on the streets of Amsterdam when a bunch of uploaded lobster-brains called Manfred Macx's cellphone and asked him to launch them into space, far away from the increasingly chaotic human infoflux (Noosphere) which was too primate-dependent for their strange brains to navigate. At the other end of the book, twenty years later, Macx's grandson Sirhan sits in the park of a city he grew on the surface of Saturn, looking down at the acrimonious clouds below. In my imagination, the photo above (click to zoom) contains a tiny blot which, when magnified, resolves into a Mandelbrot-shaped colony of floating lilypads. This post is both a recommendation of that book (buy it here), and a hasty recommendation for you to check out this spectacular gallery of Cassini's photos from her four-year survey of Saturn's gravity well. Cassini will continue to monitor the Saturn system for another two solar cycles.

Future Today Brefing: Cassini's greatest hits
(via The Big Picture)

Internet Relaxation Cooldown (The Return!!)

Yes, i know.... I haven't done an IRC since this blog was just a baby. To be frank, the theme was too random and a little bit boring, so i just kind of killed it. But today, i found this amazing website that is too perfect not to post as an Internet Relaxation Cooldown. So here goes; For one time only-the return of the IRC.
Yup.....the internet is a complicated place, blah blah blah....You need to relax blah blah blah. Now go check out The Spacializer at www.seb.cc/spacializer. Your MYND will thank you for it.

via http://www.seb.cc , home of Sébastien Chevrel: Interactive Media Artist

Legoverse: Science Patrol Assemble!

In an alternate dimensional eventuality, a different team called Science Patrol protects the Earth from invading cosmic monsters; some fifty years prior to the time you and I call 'now'. In yet another dimension, where everything is made of plastic interlocking bricks, the aforementioned incarnation of Science Patrol has been faithfully recreated by Scott Quirk over at mocpages. As usual, I have provided only a sample of the gallery. You have to go HERE to fully understand the depth of this legoverse eventuality.




Sally Forth, Science Patrol!

via mocpages
and
brickshelf

This Guy is Big in Japan

We're sorry, Japan. it's tough to turn on our news and see Giant Monsters (Kaiju) constantly ravaging your cities and what-have-you. But not to worry, Japan, for Masaru Daisatou, the "King of Pain," will keep you safe. The film is entitled Dai Nipponjin, literally "Big Man Japan," and describes the life of a man dedicated to abating those weird radioactive monstrosities that would like to level your wonderful cities. Unfortunately, the monster smashing business has fallen on hard times, decreasing viewership, and bad press, but the Master Daisatsu is still an avatar for Japan, and for all of us.

Today's Recommended Viewing: Big Man Japan Trailer


via Undead Backbrain

Reports from the Uprising

By this point it may not shock you to learn of the robotic uprising which is, at this very moment, indeed quite imminent. In fact, we here at Science Patrol pretty much won't shut up about it. It's just that we are concerned. We like being alive and don't look forward to having robots do it for us in the distant future. In an effort to proliferate awareness, the blog at Templates.com compiled not one but two enormous spreads of computer generated Robots from around the web. The galleries are can be found both HERE and HERE. For the sake of humanity itself, please visit these galleries.

via Templates.com

Mission Statement

To go along with our new Trapper Keeper inspired motif (which we hope you are enjoying), Science Patrol has also adopted a brand new Mission Statement. It comes complete with a picture of some really smart guy manipulating some cutting edge advanced technology. Yep folks-this pretty much says it all:


"In a computerized society where individuality is diminished, there are those who find little or no satisfaction in strict conformity to stereotyped living and are searching for their own answers to life's questions and how to best live, work, and find happiness."


via heyokay (which is totally awesome and you are insulting me and embarrassing yourself by not going there right now).

Robotic Ape Memorial Garden

As the post below will eloquently tell you, I am indeed elbow deep in the machine that is Cybernetic Primate Research. In an effort to further the public's awareness of the importance of said research, a memorium to cyber-apes of the past stands at CardiganLabs Headquarters as part of the Hyperbolic Stasis Installation. Here are a couple of photos from the Memorial Garden itself, which i hope you will enjoy.