Planet X Eludes Capture By Japanese Astronomers

Planet X is the home of Monster Zero. In the legends of our people, this beast is formidable and revered as the King of Monsters. What many monster hunters may not know is different factions have searched for the mysterious Planet X for many, many years. Astrologers of Babylon, mystics, Californians, and other affiliated acid-heads have been constructing giant websites that attempt to probe the dense mysteries of this completely hypothetical mass, also called Nibiru. In these legends, Planet X is a planet whose civilization has influenced ours from the beginning. Some people insist that these aliens are the mythical beings who brought humanity the gifts of fire, language, and civilization. They could be likened to the nephilim, the angels who are described in the Old Testament as taking human wives who bore them superhuman children. This naturally leads into the legends of Atlantis, Lemuria, and Mu, which are mythical continents purported to be based on this mestizo alien-human civilization. Planet X is said to have an extremely long period around our sun, and supposedly causes epochal changes in human history. These websites had proposed that Nibiru would orbit close to our Earth in May 2003 and cause a pole shift that would have disastrous effects. When that didn't happen, these groups lost much of their credibility, but they are still active. Phil Plait has an excellent breakdown of these groups at his site.

Now, to me this is all poorly written, mildly entertaining sci-fi, way below the Godzilla movies in terms of credibility. Japanese scientists, however, have recently joined these apparently disreputable groups, insisting, "That planet's gotta be around here somewhere!" Similar to other groups of scientists, they have posited the existence of Planet X based on discrepancies in the orbits of gas giants. Although these previous groups were unsuccessful in finding the planet, the search continues. Is Planet X real? Here in the laboratory, all that concerns me is this planet's steadfast refusal to remain solely fictional, and the disturbing conflation of the Planet X hypothesis with the Nibiru myth. It is distressing to the fabric of reality when such imaginings enter the real world and commingle with scientific study. As the probability of an emergent paradigm in our D.E. continues to approach zero (i.e., inevitability), I remain watchful. If Planet X does appear on the scene, the Science Patrol will be on the front lines, combating misinformation and New Age scare tactics with the cold, hard facts about the true inhabitants of Planet X: giant three-headed dragon-monsters.