Progress Continues on Monkey Cyborg Force

Lance Cardigan is a man of many diverse interests. The masses of today know him only as a promising young researcher into virtual worlds. As his colleague, I have been able to glimpse many facets not seen by the public of Earth. From my alternate time-perspective in 2053 on a neighboring stable time-stream, many people know him as a heroic Elective Prosthetic Specialist--the man who has returned the tentacle and the tail to the human organism, grafted crab legs to amputees' torsos, and allowed thousands of us to see the entire electromagnetic spectrum though our teeth.

Many of these grateful souls on all eventualities are, however, completely unaware that Dr. Cardigan has also extended his largesse to other species, most notably our noble brothers, the simian tribes. Reasoning that many of these creatures are already blessed with spatial logic, language, and a better sense of humor than most humans, he has dedicated his energy to upgrading their physical frames, creating a wide variety of adapted forms to aid him in his research. In my time with Dr. Cardigan I have witnessed the results of many of these modifications, most of them quite successful; however, the true brain-cyborg mind control link is still something which eludes our efforts.

I am glad to report to you today that university programs funded by one of Dr. Cardigan's research initiatives on this eventuality have borne fruit, as some monkeys in Pittsburgh learned to move a robot arm with their minds. In fact, only moments after this photo was taken, the monkey used the robot arm to pick up a femur he found lying around and brained a rival monkey on the head. Then he threw the bone into the air and it turned into a spaceship.