Saturday, July 24, 2010

TimeMap Zero

Visiting you, as I must, from a point further along your own timeline, I can only appear to you as a haggard, vagrant spirit, with scarcely any knowledge of my current surroundings or the effect my strange clothing and mannerisms will convey to the general populace. It is not my intent to confuse, or cause temporal disruptions, but only to show you this chart (here enlarged), designed to help you understand the interconnected nature of fictional timelines. These fiction scientists have determined that it should be theoretically possible for travelers with similar vectors to meet, even if they come from separate universes. The theory is further explained on the project page, where it is revealed that the Dr. Who universe will be charted separately, and they are looking for research fellows. Paging Dr. Cardigan!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Neil deGrasse Tyson is from Outer Space...

Astrophysicist, indeed! Just look at all of the things this extraterrestrial weirdo brought with him from the Mothership.

Also, he has seen the future, and he doesnt want you to worry.

Check your local listings to find out when you can watch Nova ScienceNow on PBS.
You can also follow Neil deGrasse Tyson on Twitter:

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Everything Is Sprayed With Glass

It may sound like a war zone's worst case scenario, but it is what scientists are touting as the wave of the future in preservation techniques for everything from subway cars and buildings to food and seeds.

Spray-on liquid glass is about to revolutionize almost everything

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Sunspots (We Crawl By Inches)

"Before assuming these phenomena are [sun]spots, which would suit us, let us first set about proving that they are not - fried fish. We crawl by inches. What we find today we will wipe from the blackboard and reject it - unless it shows up again the day after tomorrow. And if we find anything which would suit us, that thing we will eye with particular distrust. In fact, we will approach this observing of the sun with the implacable determination to prove that the earth stands still, and only if hopelessly defeated in this pious undertaking can we allow ourselves to wonder whether we may not have been right all the time: the earth revolves."

-Galileo, as imagined by Bertolt Brecht (thanks to the Red-Haired Radical for the quote)

Monday, November 2, 2009

The Computer at Play

It is easy to think, in this era of short attention spans, that modern technologies such as motion- and touch-sensitive screens and networked gaming are new innovations. In fact, they have been around for more than 40 years. In this video, interface pioneer Myron Krueger demos his Videoplace system, which prefaced many other forms of creative interaction with computers.

As Myron says, most uses of personal computers are utilitarian, and many people experience significant difficulty interfacing with them due to a lack of emotional, visceral connection with the machine. Videoplace provides a truly creative sandbox experience, allowing two people to play intuitively using a shared space.

The recent announcement of Google Wave gives me great hope that these innovations will continue to bring intuitive communication and play to people of the future.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Dark Star

I have recently become the owner of a copy of John Carpenter's Dark Star, a film whose trailer makes me very excited.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Last Train to Zebulon 4

This glimpse into another world comes to us courtesy of the archive of Jeff Larson, who says: "I found this while making color separation proofs, it was a mistake but I couldn't toss it out. The cyan layer is dissolving away and the black never made it on. Looks like a train ride to a different world. On the left edge is a tiny guy and a kid waving."

These amazing prints are available through the Lighter of the Month Club, a yearly subscription that sends you 4 stickers a month to convert your lighters into works of art. It's a brilliant idea and one I plan on supporting very soon. Jeff's art is well worth $40 for 48 stickers, whether your decorate your lighter, your laptop, or bare skin. And even if you don't care to pay, the gallery is breathtaking.

Monday, August 31, 2009

The Centripetal Machine

There's no mistake: The artist Dustin Wilson is crafting a very special world over at his blog. Unfortunately I cannot embed the video on our site, but I would recommend that future-minded people take a look at "Woodstock to Miramichi."

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The future, in miniature

Soren, a.k.a. Bricklovinfreakboy, is a Lego modeler of mecha and other automata.  His work will undoubtedly be used in the toybox of the future to explore new environments, like the underside of the bed or that fiddly spot under the radiator.  Please click through to his photoset to see more exciting servotechnology.  

This was brought to you by SuperPunch and The Brothers Brick.   Please see also: California Dreaming, sculptures made from recycled materials.  Pic below.  

Monday, August 3, 2009

Fiction Science in the Field

Here at Science Patrol Ideation Collection East (SPICE), we monitor the creation, distribution, and networking of ideas, specifically those related to science. My studies in particular focus on the differences between science fact, and science fiction, and something else we call "fiction science." Let me be clear: fiction science refers to untrue science, facts which do not apply to our dimensional corner of the multiverse but which are nonetheless interesting or amusing to us. Flat Earth Theory, Hollow Earth Theory, phlogiston, spontaneous generation of life--these are all ideas which have been shown to be false, but as we know, the ability of the human mind to cling to disproven ideas is very strong, and has been a major force throughout history.

With that in mind, I want to show you some documentation of individuals who either do not understand science, or are trying to create some new science of their own, without regard for accredited research, or 300 years of scientific progress and knowledge. I have already introduced the first woman to you; she can be seen in the video above, rhapsodizing on the prevalence of rainbows everywhere in her world and speculating on their meaning. The second person, known as "Truthmage," is an "avid sky-watcher" who nonetheless knows very little about the heavens above her. Although we do caution the reckless ingestion of these ideas, it is perfectly ok as long as one remembers a few key scientific principles, and I recommend you watch as many of their videos as you can stand. Below is a particularly awesome example.

Sunday, July 26, 2009


Although we are often swayed by pretty technology and psychedelic visions, know that we of the Science Patrol are flesh and blood, with hearts that are not unmoved by emotional or dramatic fare. Especially when it involves robots.

is a short film by Ken Tanaka, an artist and personality. Please give him love.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Behold, the Protean Orb!

From the desk of Dr. Yano Solong comes this spine-tingling footage of what can only be described as an insipid and disgust-inspiring biomass. Apart from being discovered in a sewer pipe in Malphus, North Carolina, the Protean Orb has also been making rounds in the tubes we call the Internet, and to this end has instilled fear and panic in the minds (and MYNDs) of those who view it. In an effort to curtail the exaserbation of unnecessary hysteria, we here at SciencePatrol have approached these findings using the rigor of the scientific method, and as such shall attempt to explain these phenomenona using candor and rationale.

Know then, that these Protean Beings are neither heathen spawn from the bowels of the underworld, nor are they extra-terrestrial xenomorphs scouting ahead for an invasion of Earth's porcelain domains. Research indicates that they are annelid worms, who infiltrated the 50+ year old pipes via cracks caused by tree roots. In the absence of soil, the worms coalesce into a spheroid-structured colony in the interest of self preservation. Still, pretty grody.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Once Every Blue Moon...

On this day, forty solar cycles past, the brave astro-travellers of NASA first stepped foot on Earth's Moon. We here at SciencePatrol celebrate mission designate Apollo 11, and those men who made it possible. May our future passages into the dark unknowns of space be as memorable, with many happy returns.

For a very special look at the Apollo moon mission, check out We Choose the Moon, an interactive presentation of mission data. Also available: Twitter feeds of communications from the Capsule Communicator (CAPCOM) and the Apollo spacecraft.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Future Science Preserves Past Scientific Triumphs

We here at SP have no particular affinity for any one time sphere or any one eventuality, but hold dear all eventualities and the triumphs of science in all points in space time. Because of this respect for all scientific victories, advancements, and ventures, it is always a pleasure to show a mixing of the old and new. As most seekers are unable to move through spacetime at will, much less manipulate eventualities to coax desired outcomes, it is often difficult for the successes of the past to be preserved into the future.

Believe it or not, someone who has a firsthand knowledge of this decay of greatness far too extensive to imagine is one Jay Leno, who has given his life to preserve some of the most crowning achievements in automotive technology from past generations. His vast array of collected automotive transports includes Maseratis, Lamborghinis, and Ferraris, but some of the most brilliant jewels are the ones that would be all but forgotten without his vigil. The Stanley Steamers, the Duesenbergs, and the Morgans. Now future science has made this vigil easier to maintain, and the same science may make movie prop replica creators giggle with delight also.

Popular Mechanics brings us this month a glimpse into the complications of attempting to savor and resurrect classic motorcars, and a new tool to alleviate some of those complications. The goal of the tool itself is not new, but the portability and affordability are. Its a new 3D Scanner from NextEngine, allowing anyone to scan anything they wish, provided that it will fit into the scanning array, and produce a 3D model with 1 million points in a couple of minutes. Jay Leno can use this new tool to create auto parts that have not been produced since the turn of the century, and as a matter of fact, does. This tech is also invaluable to video game developers, 3D artists involved in film making, or anyone who wants to reproduce an item with stunning accuracy in a 3D environment. Once the 3D model has been created, it can be imported into a vast number of applications, including being printed, again, in 3D. The "printer" that was used in the demo at Jay Leno's garage was a marvel in itself, as it uses plastic filament strategically injected into points to recreate the model. This is amazing in itself, but when you find out that it can produce fully functioning 3D plastic recreations of almost any object, and without assembly, your MYND will surely blow. Think about making a wrench (again, as seen in the embedded video). Typically you would have to produce the handle and the smaller clamping end separately, as the cogs and tiny parts could never be created assembled. Not the case with Dimension's 3D printer, scan the wrench with the scanner, import the model into the printer, and out pops a fully functioning wrench.

We salute NextEngine, Dimension, Popular Mechanics, and Jay Leno for their hunger to find new solutions to problems once thought to be insurmountable. Not to mention that it could really save Adam Savage some time in making 3D Maltese Falcons.

Friday, June 26, 2009

The Future of Science as I understand it...

Welcome again, seekers! Adept followers of know that we here at headquarters report on all manner of findings retrieved from various timespheres and eventualities; be they factual, fictitious, or merely fictive. But seldom do we report on the goings on of the ones behind the machines, our own corporeal avatars in this timesphere, here on our native eventuality. They are known by different names, and consist of matter and mass which we lack; nonetheless we here at SciencePatrol are born of their ideas.

Know then, that this is Lance Cardigan reporting from in the field. In this very dimension. Right now.
Today I attended an orientation session for acceptted transfer students at Drexel University's Westphal College of Media Arts and Design. I will begin my studies proper there in roughly three lunar cycles in the Digital Media Bachelor of Science program. Visiting the labs today has inspired me to share some of the work already underway at the college by students other than myself. I hope to bring you much more news of my own experiments in the coming future, but for now I invite you to enjoy the work of those that have gone before me. May my own muse shine as brilliantly as their's.
Below are images from the 2009 Digital Media Review, which showcases student work from the Digital Media program. Looks like I will be in league with some excellent talents, as well as some worthy adversaries. I look forward to 2010(tywmc).
As per usual protocols, I share only a tantalizing fragment of the entire showcase. Intrepid Junior Science Patrollers know that to make breakthroughs, they must preform their own research. We at SP merely give you the tools.

Again, the entire show is just a click away.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

In the Dark Future....

Seeker! Do not adjust your monitors. What you behold are the latest abstractions and deviances from the foundry of Imperious Leader "Lucky" No.5. No. 5 frequently defiles the sanctity of what we know to be a generally chaos-free universe and timesphere, however this latest abomination he has unleashed is of a particularly sinister nature. Be warned that prolonged exposure to these feeds is untested and subsequently not recommended by SciencePatrol analysts. However, if you do dare tempt the edge of insanity, follow This Foreboding Link to what will most probably result in your own enslavement to the will of the Unclean.

Monday, June 15, 2009

KIDS are our Future.

The preceding music video is the collective work of the band MGMT (pronounced Em-Gee-Em-Tee) and director Ray Tintori. While the auditory execution of the number in question is what initially drew me to this feed, I share it here because of the sheer prowess of Mr. Tintori and his visionary work. RT is impeccable in his execution of makeup, costume, animation, and pyrotechnics; what results is a level of synergy oft unseen in this day of bootyshake and bling. This presentation harkens back to the days of Peter Gabriel and Dire Straits, when music videos were as much of an expression of art as the songs themselves.
Those here at SciencePatrol pray that in the future, history will promise to continue to repeat itself, as it presently has done.

Note that MGMT themselves have disclaimed that no children were hurt during the making of this film.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Space People From the Future

The above man is Lone Sloane, my grandfather, a true Space Person and psychedelic hero in the vein of John Carter of Mars and Elric of Melniboné. He passed the traditions of freebooting, adventuring, and fighting the evil empire to his son, Han Solo, my own father. His adventures were chronicled by the Earthling Philippe Druillet, and published in the pages of magazines such as Pilote and Metal Hurlant, which Druillet co-founded with the god Mœbius.

This very silly video by the Gregory Brothers (recent heroes of the operatic tradition) is a salute to our family tradition, and to space people everywhere:

Monday, June 8, 2009

Truly, Many Things Have Come to Pass

Hello Seeker!

This post is here to tell you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Many beings have come before you seeking knowledge, and many of them have stopped by this oasis on their way to brighter systems, better epochs, and more fantastical climes.

As Lance Cardigan has written here some months before, I have traveled along at least a millenium of recorded time since I last visited this research station. The many adventures I assimilated during that timespan will probably never be completely revealed, but I am nonetheless glad to report that during my absence from this plane, an androidized intelligence bearing my name has been Twittering relevant facts and evidence to a growing populace of connected minds. The name, of course, is "YanoSolong." Click this link to view relevant data.

However, despite this stopgap measure, many things still remain to be revealed. (The process of revelation is unending.) Therefore I bring you these tidings of great joy:

The artist Robert Burden (image credit above) has deified our most trusted icons. Please visit his temple to partake of the heavenly glory.

Scientists claim to have cut-and-pasted the THC genetic sequence from cannabis into a variety of plants, and they also claim that tomatoes carry a much higher quantity of THC than the cultivated hemp plant. Sun-dried pizza topping, anyone?

While you're making up that bruschetta, consider taking a trip to London to see this giant deep-sea diver awaken from his slumber.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Tau Architecture: The Reactor

Many of you may wonder what dire fates may have befallen the intrepid minds behind our beloved SciencePatrol. Fear not, believers; for i bring news of the adventures of those men who would dare brave the farthest outreaches of science. Sometimes, the ether gets so thick it can be difficult to transmit our many findings.

Yano Solong: As a result of rampant experimentation within uncharted timespheres, yano solong became diefied by a culture of pre-technological bipedal humanoids. After worshiping him as his acolytes for nearly a milenium of their time, they were satisified with his work in the role of that millenia's diety and promptly attempted to sacrifice him to the next one. We are fortunate to report that Yano Solong made safe egress, and has returned to our own timesphere, having suffered the loss of one 'S' as a result of his escape. Dr. Solong was otherwise unscathed.

Wormocious: Worm has chosen, of his own volition, to self-induce a deep cryogenic stasis inside a self built sensory deprivation chamber. He plans to reawaken as soon as science creates a higher viscosity oil for his many modular prosthetics. Current tolerances are unable to withstand Wormocious' experimentation. He looks forward to the day when mans will catches up to that of machines

Vision von Braun: Is still working in the past, and will remain so until that time becomes the present, from which he will embark upon a journey toward the future. SciencePatrol wishes him the greatest of luck.

I myself have continued my work here at CardiganLabs Sub-Orbital MYND Survey Station.
I have been designing architecture for a race of aliens that will be born 30,000 years in the future, in a distant corner of the galaxy.
Below is a link to a writeup i have done on my latest project, a Tau Reactor.

note that the writeup was writen under the designation of Prof. Tesseract. I am called many things at many different times.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

AT-AT (in stereo)

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

People used to have boomboxes. Or ghettoblasters. Or all terrain armored transports. All three can be used to great effect when pop'n. lock'n, or laying siege to rebel outposts. As for this particular model, it is unclear who or what constructed such a magnificent blending of technologies. All i can tell you is that the signals are being broadcast from the following frequency. Follow the link to see more pics of the AT-AT in hi-fi stereo.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Armed and Operational

Heed and bear witness to the awesome destructive power of the SciencePatrol RSv1 ArmCannon Modification put in place by yours truly, the mad professor Cardigan. Behold the two pictures of his wrist mounted missle launcher. Gaze in wonder as the missle is fired using only RSv1's own mechanical energy. Cower as his infared sensors zero in on your MYND as its primary target. Flee as you attempt to evade the impending wave of cataclysm foretold by the sound of his servos moving his arm into position. None can withstand the 2inch plastic payload the robot unleashes in his stoic fury and robotic lack of remorse.
May Cardigan be forgiven for the calamity he has unleashed on mankind.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Adventrues of Marilyn, 20th Century Space Goddess

...she quickly replicates as the attack ships of Zeta Reticuli warp from orbit into her neural subspace...

Blogger Doc40 has been appearing on my radar for some time, chronicling the unique sub-history of his own little sector of timespace, but it's this series of posts chronicling the adventures of the late, great Marilyn Monroe that have really caught my eye. Taking as a starting point an intriguing photo featuring our fair heroine, each episode delightfully remixes Barbarella, Burrough's Martian Barsoom stories, and the peculiar situations that Marilyn often found herself in, to exceptional effect.